Today, my father-in-law called me an idiot for buying him coffee cake because he can't have caffeine. He refuses to believe that there's as much coffee in coffee cake as there is ham in a hamburger. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML
Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML
Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML
Today, on my one day off from working in a bakery, my dad asked me to bake him a cake. I refused as I’m exhausted and didn’t want to bake. He then informed me it’s “not my choice” if I bake cakes or not, and if I want to keep living rent free in his house, I’ll “bake the fucking cake.” FML
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML
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Top comments
GirlYouNasty 11
Just tell him it's decaf.
Batterypost 23
Actually, most hamburgers are 100% beef, while ham is pork. The more you know.
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Comments (169)
tswizz 13
So you're telling me there ISN'T any ham in a hamburger? :O
ChickInGreenVans 12
Sorry did we just ruin that one for you?? 0_o??
COLDB3AR 6
There is coffee in coffee cake
whiterabbit420 4
After so many people insisting coffee cakes have coffee I consulted a number of baking books and references. I have drawn a conclusion; American coffee cakes typically don't have coffee and are called coffee cakes cause they're made to go with coffee, typically in the AM. Coffee cakes abroad usually have some coffee and are called coffee cake because of their coffee content. They are mostly designed to be an afternoon or evening snack.
whiterabbit420 4
I'd like to add to that that carrot cake ALWAYS contains carrots, or it isn't carrot cake. Without carrots, carrot cake is just spice cake. And probably a dry one, at that.
COLDB3AR 6
Clearly you didn't, I work in a cafe ALL DAY there is coffee in coffee cake, the caffeine cooks out. I make it and watched people make it. WITH COFFEE
whiterabbit420 4
Just because your cafe does it that way doesn't mean I didnt look it up. I am a pastry chef ALL DAY. I found that every source I looked at from the us, had no coffee, every source I looked at from the uk/France, had coffee. By the way, caffeine doesn't cook out. If it did, all coffee would be decaf.
ChickInGreenVans 12
Scroll up you'll find the answers there..
rjp1811 0
wait!!! when did they stop putting coffee in coffee cakes and ham in hamburgers??? geez, I'm always the last to hear these things lol
TheEpicMilkMan 13
just tell him its decaf then give it to him with some milk, or does he not like milk? *sharpens shank*
jeansltp 7
For a second there I actually thought there was ham in a hamburger lol
causticgirl 6
Rewrap it and tell him you baked a breakfast cake or call it a snack cake. Hope your husband was adopted and not blood related to this ass-clown.
Needafarm 22
LOL, i hope he's adopted too. If he's an American father-in-law
stewpididiot 11
LoL !! She said AssClown !!!
wellnevermind 4
This is what happens every time you try to be nice to someone.
BRInyx 0
In 1802, the Oxford English Dictionary defined Hamburg steak as salt beef. It had little resemblance to the hamburger we know today. It was a hard slab of salted minced beef, often slightly smoked, mixed with onions and breadcrumbs. The emphasis was more on durability than taste. Immigrants to the United States from German-speaking countries brought with them some of their favorite foods. One of them was Hamburg Steak. The Germans simply flavored shredded low-grade beef with regional spices, and both cooked and raw it became a standard meal among the poorer classes. In the seaport town of Hamburg, it acquired the name Hamburg steak. Today, this hamburger patty is no longer called Hamburg Steak in Germany but rather "Frikadelle," "Frikandelle" or "Bulette," orginally Italian and French words.