Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
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Top comments
HoboMeth 36
You should threaten to implant your fist into his jaw if he says that again in front of the family
spn_fanboy14 12
Well, do you?
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Comments (74)
neuronerd 29
Reminds me of when my grandmother came to visit for Christmas one year, poked my boobs in front of everyone, and asked if they were real. Yes, grandma.
Witchylady 18
Why does he keep looking at your boobs. What a filthy pervert. I wonder if he has fantasies about you.
MariaGiovanni 25
Even if you did how tactless!
archi2000 2
Didn't your husband say anything to him, when it happened? Wow tht man is a serious pervert but don't worry cuz I've come across a few questions like those too...buy ur father in law asking is a bit creepy
pl0xs3rver 45
Plot twist: It's because OP's breasts are as big as tractor trailer tires In all seriousness though, talk to your husband about this. Tell him that you find this unacceptable and he needs to step in and set his dad straight.
Thatgirly 13
You should just have said " well is your dick a implant?"
Pixelatedpotato 28
Is that a compliment?
magaoitin 4
"Well I was going to get implants, but this family has enough boobs in it"
Studious_Gluteus 20
Judging by the forgetfulness and inappropriate comments, I think you may want to get him checked for dementia and/or Alzheimer's.
Kendrah18 19
Double D Sharee?! ?
tj1540 16
I wanna see