Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML
Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
Today, I confronted my dad about his horrible attitude toward women. I pointed out that a man with as many sisters and daughters as he has, shouldn’t refer to women who’ve had children as “damaged goods”. He laughed and said, “Ah well, once it’s been blown out, it’s no good to anyone.” Thanks dad. FML
Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML
Today, I've reached the age as a sexless loser where my family no longer tells me to find a "single lady" but rather a "single mother". Thanks for reminding me everyone else had fun in their twenties. FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, I caught my mother telling my 11-year-old daughter that if she wants to be happy in life, she needs to start exercising now, because fat can creep up on you, and rich guys never marry fat girls with nice personalities. I was fuming. FML
Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML
Today, an aunt asked me why I'm single. I laughed and said, "I know my value, and I have high standards. Men can't handle that." My cousin burst into laughter and said, "What value? You're 36 and 300 pounds. Your value is zero!" I cried. FML
Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
I mean.... your genepool is a byproduct of his genepool, so its partly on him.
penney123 10
:( what a ass!! Great parenting skills right there! Everyone deserves to be loved and I’m sure if you removed that kind of negativity from your life you’d feel much happier in yourself. You’ll find someone one day xx
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Comments (13)
penney123 10
:( what a ass!! Great parenting skills right there! Everyone deserves to be loved and I’m sure if you removed that kind of negativity from your life you’d feel much happier in yourself. You’ll find someone one day xx
mackdeezy 22
I mean.... your genepool is a byproduct of his genepool, so its partly on him.
raven_of_azarath 35
And I would have mentioned that. “Didn’t stop someone for falling for you!”
westoz 24
Wow what a nasty man. I hope you managed to come back with “Thanks Dad, I take after you”. Honestly though, all that he said is rubbish. Only losers would think and say that about your body. A good real man won’t and although it may seem like there aren’t any out there, there are and you’ll find each other eventually.
DogStew 20
I’m sorry he said that. That’s not even a funny joke. I bet $100 that he’s the one with lopsided ****, fat thighs, and a crooked nose. Insults and compliments are always a reflection of the person speaking.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, look what he contributed to the gene pool!
gar2014 23
sounds like you're perfect just like the rest of us dont worry about what he says were all normal he just doesnt know !
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
thats when you should say "THANK GOD I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING FROM YOU
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
I'd take that as a compliment, i mean if yours ugly embrace it and do you really want kids that look like you? I'm ugly and don't want kids coz they'll look like me
uniformed 13
I think we need a pic to determine if this is a ydi or an fml lol
julfunky 29
So if she did look like that she deserved being laughed at by her father?
Richard Luna 1
What a loser your dad is, **** him you will find someone