Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HoboMeth 36
You should threaten to implant your fist into his jaw if he says that again in front of the family
spn_fanboy14 12
Well, do you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
spn_fanboy14 12
Well, do you?
ohSNAPyall 27
None of his beeswax!
ziggy452 6
Well he is her father in law...
CharismaGeek 19
Not even fathers should be asking that.
Cadeth 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
At least he thinks your breasts are big
NomeDMF 17
He shouldn't even be paying attention to that to begin with.
cheeeksss 29
Idk about you, but I would MUCH rather prefer my father-in-law act as though my breasts are nonexistent.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Men are incapable of treating breasts as though they don't exist. It completely violates our programming.
aldoshoes 4
Not necessarily, maybe they're just a weird unnatural shape.
thisguy22 33
All implants are a weird, unnatural shape really. Especially since most women who get them seem to get an inappropriate size for their frame/bodies. Just my 2 cents.
The12thPaladin 8
Actually some of us men who have manners and don't ogle at women are able to.
DoomedGemini 38
Not all NATURAL breasts even 'fit' the frame/body, that's not really a good way to tell. It shouldn't matter anyway.
FrostyyFML 15
This is a message to all the people saying he shouldn't be looking, if you're looking at a person, you can usually see their body. So unless her boobs are under the table he's obviously going to notice them.
kaybows 14
Obviously he's just shocked that you have such great boobs even though you have his subpar genetics.
teentee401 37
Father-in-LAW. She doesn't have his genetics.
kaybows 14
Ugh yikes my bad, time to work on my reading comprehension.
teentee401 37
Eh, everyone makes mistakes!
SWEET_CS 6
father IN LAW dumbass... no genetic connection...
majoroftheair 12
^Pretty sure she unready figured out her mistake...
mguthrie51 10
#62 im sure he got it the first time she was corrected. no need to be a troll.
superwh00 10
yikes...not his business anyway op
HoboMeth 36
You should threaten to implant your fist into his jaw if he says that again in front of the family
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
Or in private. Or in front of strangers. Or in his head. Or anywhere else for that matter. Dafuq?
littleteapot 21
"Nope, do you have a personality disorder? I know a great doctor."
UncleSplooge 16
So you have a personality disorder yourself?
oyeh 19
What the **** is wrong with him?? It's none of his business, and in front of the family?? Ask him if he's got brain implants instead
edward80 18
The breast thing to do is to laugh it off
KhaleesiDannie 26
I've had that happen thankfully never from family but I have been accused of lying about it and it sucks I'm sorry OP
crudeandrudeguy 29
It takes a lot of nerve to accuse someone of lying about it. "How dare you have nicer boobies than me, they are obviously fake!!!" How does anyone think they have the right to ask that question or that it's their business to begin with??
oyeh 19
Exactly #35!
Hilda_x 25
Unless he's old and senile, I'd tell him to back off. That's inappropriate and not any of his business.