Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML
Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother who lives with us decided that since I work from home, it would be a good idea for her to stay home and keep me company. "Keeping me company" includes ordering me to make her food, gossiping non stop, and ridiculing me for not being the woman that she always saw her son marrying. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom is talking shit about me to anyone who will listen, all because I refused to stay at her house and help her with a few chores she said she would pay me for. She keeps leaving out the part where I saw dozens of bed bugs not even 5 minutes after I got there. FML
Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML
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Top comments
harrypotter955 19
1-800 choke dat hoe
holeyman 8
She probably saw his name on the no-call list
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Comments (107)
Docbee 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She's just doing her job, family is the best business as you can forever contact them :D
slurshies 11
until they shoot you because you're so freaking annoying
slurshies 11
I mean, until you 'accidentally' die because your son missed during his target practice....
Psych101 9
I think the main part of the FML was what the mom said to the boyfriend, not the fact that she calls her family.
AlexDeBrazil 1
Gee, how i love those thumb downs! (^o^)/
AlexDeBrazil 1
OP You take that back she's a nice old lady who loves her family! Lulz
kdog333 1
and you know this how?
AlexDeBrazil 1
In case you didn't realize, i'm trolling every last person who thumbed me down. I actually embrace thumbs downs. Im the FML guy who says stupid things on FML to watch (or read) the reactions. Congrats. Youve just furthered my unofficial career. ™™™™™
AlexDeBrazil 1
Anyone want to thumb me down now? Its really a win win situation for me if you do or dont
HahaHokayThen 10
Knowing that, he probably didn't take it to heart, considering she's clearly wrong.
Ch0sen 13
On the contrary, it's actually rather surprising how deeply the mind can be affected by comments from any source directed towards the owner. Even when a clearly deranged, complete stranger hurls an insult at you, you'll still feel uncomfortable to some degree - and in this case, it's his girlfriend's mother. I don't know about you, but I would definitely care about the opinion of my girlfriend's family members, crazy or not.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
She's just a jealous bitch who hates her life. You should call her at 3 am and tell you she has been randomly entered into contest and won a free cruise across Russia in a deep Indian voice.
randii_17 11
Op, this should be your boyfriend's fml.
harrypotter955 19
1-800 choke dat hoe
reallytho3 11
OP should have that shit on speed dial lol
gc327072 31
And op tell her I don't want to ****ing refinance! I'm 17 for cryin out loud!
onlychildFTW 34
Haha sounds about right to me. No one likes telemarketers. They call at the worst times on pourpose.
Linkisomnivore 8
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahhahagagagagagah
maxisis_fml 6
You sir, said exactly what I was thinking!:D. Madea ftw!
leilaostara 1
Love your username:)
Bulletross12 0
Whatta bitch eh?
Docbee 11
Evelyn Harper of the telemarketing world ._.
gc327072 31
4- + 10 internets to you for creativity. (standing ovation)
kongor 1
She doesnt sound "passive" agressive
holeyman 8
She probably saw his name on the no-call list
Ajwc101 24
That explains it.
AussieChild 22
Sounds like there's a lot more to the story...
Tezoma 28
Or... Some people are just bitter and angry.
tywinn 1
Yeah, sounds like he might not be that sweet.
AussieChild 22
Just because a guy is sweet and does volunteering, doesn't make him perfect. He'd have the same flaws as anyone, and perhaps OP's mother is just being (very) vocal about it. And OP's mum might be a utter bitch... Or maybe OP is actually a silly teenager, who is just raging because her mother doesn't approve of her bf. There's just obviously more to the story.
dominic1221 6
Wow, I bet you feel so morally superior, being able to make retarded and baseless assumptions about OP. Just cause you can, doesn't mean you should. Some people are just total ******* assholes. You're one of them.
coried91 28
Well holy shit 55. Calm down before you get a hernia.
acidkitten 14
Talking about snap judgements, 55, you just decided someone was a '******* asshole' based on a short paragraph of text. There's clearly more to this story.
dominic1221 6
Based on actual words and proof. I guess it hurts to get that attitude thrown back at you, hey? But okay, I'll just end it here, cause making shit up about OP just to feel bigger than them is more fun for you guys than working with the actual information given. I'm not gonna be able to convince you otherwise.
GoldenGrizzly 7
I think the argument isn't the Op's mother is perfect or that Op's boyfriend has some flaws (which is true, even sweet people can sometimes get frustrated or tell the wrong joke) but that there is more to the story we should hear. We don't know what Op's mom is yelling about, or what Op's boyfriend said before that. However, I will say that Op's dictation does not sound like a teenager. But Op's boyfriend is not perfect and you should not assume that one perspective is the ONLY perspective. My boyfriend is sweet, kind, fun, amusing, and interesting...to me. To other people who piss him off or try to tell him what to do he rips a new one. He is sarcastic and kind of an asshole to the rest of the world. So where my perspective is that he is a charming, loving boyfriend, everyone else sees him as a dick. So even if Op's boyfriend volunteers and is sweet to her, he might be the world's biggest prick. A lot of charming, sweet people turn out to be child molesters and murderers because people trusted them and didn't think anything was wrong. I am not saying Op's boyfriend is any of these things, but perspective is not always reality.
AussieChild 22
Thankyou 87, that's exactly what I was trying to say! :) And 88, I definitely agree
Welshite 40
Telemarketer...that says it all.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I sidetrack and prank the **** out of telemarketers just for the hell of it. You call me, you face the consequences.
Welshite 40
I like asking complex questions or questions they aren't ready for. Makes them angry and flustered. My sister was in the habit of placing the phone on the counter if they asked for my father. She'd tell them to hold on while she got him and then come back ten minutes later...telemarketer averted. My brother would just talk to the telemarketer, continuously, about random subjects. Wouldn't let the poor soul have a word in edgewise. They usually just hung up on him. I know that they're people just doing their job, but the amount of telemarketers who call is absolutely ridiculous.
FilleNoir 21
.. I can't stand when people write books for comments. -_-
GoldenGrizzly 7
What sort of low standards do you have that 8 lines is a "book." If you are too lazy to read comments, why are you on a website that is 2/3rd comments.
jpqm32 3
Good luck with her
SamanthaCassieL 10
All I can say is... Good luck OP. I wish you the best.
iEatWookies 1
She sounds like a lovely woman..