Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
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Top comments
HoboMeth 36
You should threaten to implant your fist into his jaw if he says that again in front of the family
spn_fanboy14 12
Well, do you?
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Comments (74)
pks2014 10
It seems he has crush on you !
sylvienoir 18
Tell your husband to stick up for you. That's messed up and he should be telling his dad that that's not okay. Unless his dad is some violent manic (in which case you shouldn't be around him). If your husband doesn't say anything tell him you won't go over there or have anything to do with them until he does.
buckdharma 38
He asked you this 3x? He must have a bad mammary.
heartofhannah 28
You tried, #33
DHdieJ 5
why the **** would he do that?
Dark_Cecilia 20
Does he have alzheimers?
vikky538 29
One answer to that shit head f in law.. Ask your son!!!!
the_taken_queen 4
Well.....
johncanact 13
Well do you?
Richard6036 13
Well he is really one classless person with no dignity or respect and what does your husband have to say about this
samlovesham1234 9
Next time he asks that, smack him upside the head.