Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Loud fart
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Daddy's in the shit again
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Proof
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
Top comments
SandiRainbowFish 20
Oh, little kids....
j_cat187 20
Does he shit bubbles?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
neffkid 0
that sucks
SandiRainbowFish 20
Oh, little kids....
BigBoyBounce 5
Yeah but what can you do about it? He's still at the age where everything he does seems cute.
SandiRainbowFish 20
That's true... I'd be worried if she said "my 16-year-old son"....but of course that's not the case ;P
CowOven 7
Soap has a horrible taste how did he eat that.
SandiRainbowFish 20
Whenever I got in trouble as a little kid my parents would make me eat it.... ******* disgusting.
siickman 7
8, swallowing soap, pooping and vomiting is so cuteeee c:
BigBoyBounce 5
I understand that's still disgusting, but what I'm trying to say is since he's at that young neive(sp?) age and thinks what he is doing can make his farts smell clean makes it cute.
SandiRainbowFish 20
28, I know what you're saying. I agree with you :D
rdrr 2
Cleanliness is next to godliness!
cookeemonster 7
15- whenever I swore i would get my mouth rinsed out with soap. I know where you're coming from.
thatKidzmOm 10
I think I'm going to explain to my 7 year old that this doesn't work and make her understand it will make her sick if she tries....just in case the thought crossed her mind. Ew!
a1f0sff 25
Swallowing soap can kill someone because its ph is high... Good thing your son is only vomiting and pooping, OP.
hawkey126 0
Wait...that doesn't work?
Driveshaft 5
As Ron White says, "...you can't fix stupid."
Gregory607 1
Naïve*
ArielTheMermaid 17
You raised an idiot....hopefully you have other, smarter kids
Sarah_moustache 9
Just because he ate soap, he's an idiot? He's 8!
MrSassypants 34
He isn't necessarily an idiot... he just did one dumb thing. I do dumb things all the time and I'm not a.... wait... crap... but OP's son may not be an idiot still.
SandiRainbowFish 20
#3, I'd agree with you if the post was about her teenaged son. Since its not, I think we can assume that the 8 year old isn't a COMPLETE idiot, since little kids do tend to do stupid stuff every once in a while/ :)
ArielTheMermaid 17
Maybe he isn't a complete idiot, but I think an 8 year old would know better than to eat soap......
MrSassypants 34
Ah ha! You would think so but atlas, you are wrong. Maybe 8 year olds in general do but this one certainly didn't.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Maybe I just don't remember what it's like to be 8. I take back my earlier comment. *brings out apology cookies*
ImaginaryFoe 1
I remember being eight and it was a hell of a lot further back than seven years ago. It's the age of exploration and imagination. OP, FYL for having to clean up after your son. Go easy on him. It's safe to say he's learned his lesson.
dancinwookie 21
Hey, you can't even begin to fathom then the kind of crap kids put in their mouths prior to soap. I, personally, admit to eating play-doh, dirt, and glue as a tot, and I just had to take an IQ test as part of a memory test for my tumor; Turns out I'm certifiably a genius, so it's not all bad. It's how we learn..."Maybe I shouldn't eat mud. It's kinda gross and the rocks hurt my teeth."
MrSassypants 34
Play-doh, dirt, and glue = genius. Why did I not think of this before? OMGZ i m guna eat dese n b so smartzicle.
R3TROxLOV3 32
He's not an idiot. He's 8. When I was 8, I recall eating paperclips and any change I could get my hands on because I wanted to see if I could hear them jingling inside of me. Kids do stupid things because their ability to logically think things through is still in it's infantile stage.
CaptTeemo 10
Wisdom comes from experience... The 8 year old will never touch another soap bar for a while. Unless he didn't learn anything from this experience...
sunflower150 4
#3 YOU are the idiot for not understanding how children think and for judging such a small child so harshly. I bet referring to a small child as an "idiot" must make you feel real big, huh? Loser. You must be one terribly unhappy soul - it must really suck to be you. IDIOT.
felixthemaster 6
IKR stupid regards these days think this is normal. *sigh* you are contributing to the global fall in human intelligence. please go kill yourselves. sure I was this stupid... when I was four! at eight I was raised well enough to not be a blithering idiot
felixthemaster 6
stfu
therealslim 15
I don't know about soap but play-doh, man that stuff tastes GREAT And I'm not being sarcastic
ohmandapants 17
92/94 by the sounds of your comments, you are a "blithering idiot" so stfu, ass wipe. 99 really? I always thought it was really salty lol
elgatobob16 11
Oh Canada
mannykatany 9
#50 might be a bronie...... But that's just from looking at his profile picture....
ArielTheMermaid 17
80-no, referring to a small child as an idiot does not make me feel "real big". I already apologized for my comment and I take it back. So if you could stop being rude that would be great. Thanks.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Also 80 you judged me for making one stupid comment that I regret. Little hypocritical. I am not a poor unhappy soul, and it does not suck to be me. Have a nice day
sunflower150 4
#115/#117 - the only reason you "took it back" is because people called you out on it. That's what people who insult much weaker people AKA bullies do. When people THEIR OWN SIZE call them out on it or when people give them a taste of their own bullying...they backpeddle, backpeddle, backpeddle in a truly cowardly form. And the reason I judged you for that one comment was not out of being hypocritical but to make it clear to you that it really doesn't feel good when someone is rude to you and calls you an "idiot", so if it doesn't feel good to you, how do you think the 8 year old would feel if he ever found out that you said that about him? Or how did you think his mother felt if/when she read it? If nobody had called you out on calling an 8 year old an "idiot" you never would have taken it back so you are the hypocrite. Guess you can dish it out (to a helpless 8 year old) but you can't take it when someone YOUR OWN SIZE dishes it back to you huh? Don't dish it out to smaller, weaker people if you won't be able to take it when someone YOUR OWN SIZE dishes it back to you. #Bullying101
sunflower150 4
*backpedal. Argh high speed typing.
ArielTheMermaid 17
I really am sorry. Even before I read the comments I realized that it was out of context. I'm sorry for everyone I've offended. It was a stupid comment and I was brain dead anyway. Everyone says stupid stuff at 2 in the morning. I'm truly sorry. But on another note, I'm really not a bully. Get to know me before you call me that.
ArielTheMermaid 17
And it doesn't bother me, also. I know it was mean. I needed to hear it. So thank you for showing me how wrong I was. Have a nice day :)
sunflower150 4
@ArielTheMermaid I guess you're a much bigger person than I had given you credit for. I apologize for calling you a bully when I don't know you - but most people who make such comments about younger/weaker people (especially children) are bullies but I can see that you are one of the few that aren't - instead you seem like someone who was just spoke/wrote before thinking, which happens to the best of us. Hell, if only I had a penny for all the times I spoke without thinking.... Anyway, I hope you have a good day today. :)
bunniex1 11
Applejack is better than rainbow dash!!
FilleNoir 21
What kind of soap was that?!
TarieBoo 2
soap youre not suppost to eat... (all soaps)
MrSassypants 34
#16 i found out there is such thing as edible soap... kinda weird... and disgusting... but it proves you wrong and makes me feel better about myself or something.
gurly98 13
Can u tell me y u give a crap about SOAP
ManInTheMachine 20
Can u tell me y u no spell entire words? I anxiously await both answers.
TarieBoo 2
25- you make yourself feel better about prooving others wrong.?.....wow sad life...you probably steal little kids' candy too huh?
kandi_kid69 15
Must've been bacon flavored soap.
MrSassypants 34
I have a happy life and no, I do not steal little kids' candy. Proved you wrong again and twice this time. YAY! I am a happy, happy little boy.
Idonebeenhad 17
Soap.
therealslim 15
48, don't get all defensive because you got thumbed down, it happens to the best of us. Or worst of us..
bunniex1 11
It was ninja soap, I have no idea how the kid found it.
21jason 9
"Hmmm maybe if I eat the vomit to"
ebonyirony 29
God why?
21jason 9
Thats the Kids train of thought
Chad_the_Brony 0
Clap, clap for the Capt. Leader of the Obvious Army.
fuzz97 23
That is gross, illogical, and altogether just completely wrong.
mhopper 13
This could be the makings of a viral YouTube video!
j_cat187 20
Does he shit bubbles?
KeyboardMe 2
Or, fart a stream of them. Depending on his air supply.
angelofsaturn 23
I thought most kids started out trying to trap their farts in bubbles or light them on fire.
GVirdi 11
Well it is a new age
supermegafoxy 6
I think he's wrong in more than one way... Get that boy checked out by the professionals!
Tweekz14 5
Dude, chill. All 8 year olds probably think the same thing but just don't do it. I use to think if I swallowed a seed a plant would grow inside me..
zachherbert 10
I used to think I could teleport, because I would fall asleep on the couch and wake up in my bed.
Il_Maestro 6
74 - I used to think the same thing! Curse you, Rugrats, and your watermelon growing inside Chuckie's stomach.
garrr 0
Did you really think that? :/
MissNicky_fml 0
Shut up retard hes 8! I used to eat play doh, and im perfectly fine. It amazes me how many people don't understand how a childs mind works!
zombicidal 11
liquid or bar soap?
onlychildFTW 34
Time to teach that kid some street smarts OP
TarieBoo 2
rub a bar of soap in your mouth and you get mouth bubbles(:
b0ngs 7
And the pleasant taste of soap in your mouth!