Proof
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
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Top comments
asianchink 0
It's deserved.
RBntM 10
You deserve it for not believing him !
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Comments (78)
Metzler31 17
I guess he could have been drunk? Not necessarily sick.
br0dawg 6
1 - yeeaaah, let's just stick to sick.
n_epic_fail 14
Unless your son has a history of lying to you, you shouldn't assume the worst.
Idonebeenhad 17
You know, however impossible it may seem, we actually DO get sick sometimes. Don't be a douche and assume the worst
LightningCactus 12
If op had to accuse her son of faking sick, I'm pretty sure he doesn't drink at that age.
asianchink 0
It's deserved.
RussianFox 13
OP's son could be someone who tries to fake sickness a lot. Which lead OP not to believe him after constant lies.
aaahhhfire21 0
I did that once my mom said I was liein and tried to send me to school so I just let it buck all over her and said told ya so
RBntM 10
You deserve it for not believing him !
upyourzlolz 11
Are you telling me YOU never faked sick? I always did that when I was a kid, and I'd assume many other kids did too. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a parent to suspect a kid of faking sick.
mike3775 39
I also used to fake sick to avoid going to school, but I usually waited to get to school to fake it. I would go to the nurses office and then fake the puking sounds into a toilet and splash the water to simulate puking. Before I would come out of the stall, my parents were already called. Now that I have kids, some of them will fake it, while others don't. But I usually let my kids have a couple days where they will not have to go to school if they do not want to as well, all they need to do is let me know in advance
somerandomdude19 2
#31 = best parent and faker ever!!
Nightwing98 22
31- very good strategy for making sure your kids don't fake it, that's smart. My cousin told me when he was younger he'd mix milk and orange juice in a glass, microwave it, and chug. Instantly puked.
sordanjymes 6
Lol if I had a really strong gag reflex, so all I needed to do was stick out my tongue when no one was looking, and BAM! puke!
militarybrat 21
#14 i guess i was a saint. That and i had a nurse for a mother. I never faked sick. What was the point? U usually get found out and in middle/high school missing a day was like missing two days of work. I hated that
LaurenMarie223 0
Bitch, even if he wasn't sick just let him take a day off.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
YDI for not trusting your son telling the truth
arlo1024 0
Maybe he lies a lot
CryMoreFMLs 15
Believe me 6, after you've faked being sick alot, parents really find it difficult to trust you when you are truly sick.
LouisianaBob 9
If you're a parent who knows what's on the academic schedule, say a test that day, it seems a fair question to ask at some point.
loller27 6
people actually can voluntarily barf
rattusrattus 19
Don't you have to stick something down your throat to do that? I mean, I am not an expert on voluntarily induced puking...
Insane_Tea 15
Well I have heard of people that can repeatedly stick a long, hard object down their throat and don't puke. Sometimes more than one object at a time!
CookieGirl4ever 13
I know some people can barf just by trying to like push their stomach or something I don't remember exactly how it was worded but I learned it in Health class we were learning about eating disorders...
rattusrattus 19
Ah, so not only do they tell you the what and the why, they tell you the how, too...
luccmon 6
Actually (normally in extreme bohemia cases) some people don't have to do much more than lean over to induce it.
taerts 9
.. Ad there's his proof. Hope he gets better!
Epsilonyx 15
The fact that he projectile vomited is even more cause for worry...hope you realize that, pops.
cmcmluver 0
lol did u believe him then or did you make up some bull further accusing him? ydi not because u accused him of lieing but because u didn't move fast enough to dodge his vomit.
Enslaved 38
Why wouldn't you believe him? If he lies a lot about such things, then he can't blame you for not trusting him.