Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
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Top comments
SandiRainbowFish 20
Oh, little kids....
j_cat187 20
Does he shit bubbles?
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Comments (146)
felixthemaster 6
I hope you are proud, you raised an idiot
perdix 31
Or a scientist. He had a hypothesis and subjected it to a test. Admittedly, the test could have had better controls, especially at the sphincters.
br0ccoli 15
Gross.
KiddNYC1O 22
You guys are giving Orbit ads ideas.
liscentious23 1
91 I think you're just insensitive being a parent is one of the toughest jobs out there. Besides the 8 year old is probably a late bloomer and he still doesn't understand a lot of basic things: mainly thinking before acting
perdix 31
Science experiment: inconclusive. He needs to grind up soap and put small amounts in his food to ingest it easily, and keep the puke and diarrhea from muddying ;) his results. Beware: He could go blind from "thoap poithoning" just like Ralphie Parker.
gabirolon 1
You should take him to the hospital, soap is poisonous!!
groupleader 7
WTF is wrong with kids these days. Nobody teaching them that half the fun of farts is the smell. Why would he want them to smell like soap? Next thing you know he will want them to make a different sound, the other fun half of farts. "Gee mom, I swallowed my ipod cuz I wanted to squeeze out some nickelback".
MissNicky_fml 0
He's 8 retard.
Briiyahh 7
Wow
Zachthejoker 10
Atleast he cleaned out his insides