Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
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Top comments
SandiRainbowFish 20
Oh, little kids....
j_cat187 20
Does he shit bubbles?
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Comments (146)
Sirin_fml 47
*shit
KeyboardMe 2
Probably expecting the fragrance of lavender. But really, OP, tell your child that eating soap won't change the fact his favorite shirt smells permanently of B.O. Showering is a better idea.
regsworld11 2
Should have kept an eye on him! If you did he wouldn't have done that.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Are you kidding? Who keeps a 24/7 watch on an 8-year old? And even if OP were that obsessive of a parent, I would think he/she would at least let him go to the toilet alone and soap is often available near toilets. Sometimes kids do silly things; it's not always a parent's fault.
terrykayez 6
Either you're a troll or you're really that stupid and naive. Hahaha you obviously don't deal with little ones.
MissNicky_fml 0
You obviously dont know how to handle children. Who goes to the bathroom with there 8 year old??? kids will be kids!
regsworld11 2
My bad guys I'm only 17, I don't have children of my own obviously. I didn't really read it that well.
SadIife 6
I would contact a health department as quickly as possible as soap could possibly, I'm not sure, contain toxic substances.
beatleschick1940 9
Lm the fact that soap is a base... good call
luvscomplic8ed 6
*facepalm*
AbbyAbyss 5
Well, that must be fun at dinner.
beemo23 0
future innovator, you should be proud of your son.
kaymi 17
I hope he put the scientific method to work. Sounds like an interesting age appropriate project. Lol
Gymnastlevel10 0
Laugh it off...it will be a funny story to look back at when he's grown. No harm, no foul. Life is full of learning experiences, and this is one of them!
pinkpixie06 11
At least his intentions were good!