Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML
Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML
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Top comments
SandiRainbowFish 20
Oh, little kids....
j_cat187 20
Does he shit bubbles?
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Comments (146)
katydid91 31
I don't think I ever tried to take a bite out of a bar of soap, I do distantly recall licking a bar of "Zest" when I was a little girl because I thought I'd belch out bubbles.
nesteremily 31
people say it's the terrible two's...I say it's the effing eights lol they're worse at 8 years old than 2!!
SasaCeceGogo 18
Wow! I can't believe this got published. I'm the OP. It was not my fault. I had to work late, so I called up the babysitter. @6 No, he did not poop bubbles but he did in fact taste the soap for another day. Anyways, thanks for all the supportive comments! Cheers!