Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
never_alone 10
how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper
wondermoose 28
did he not realize that right away or?....
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Comments (186)
Mpineda57 11
Your boyfriend is a ******* moron
genericfmluser 17
Isn't that technically sexual abuse? She did not consent before hand. If someone touched me like that while sleeping I would FREAK.
limabeans101029 21
It's possible that it's just something they do, and have discussed beforehand. Me and my boyfriend sometimes wake each other up in sexual ways and, even though neither of us can technically give consent while we're asleep, I'm pretty sure that we aren't sexually abusing each other.
joeblow6969 5
One time a girl woke me up with a blowie and I pressed charges. She did 2 months in county.
diamonique 2
wow lol
gintwinsmoore 20
I don't know, but I tell my SO when my cycle is here so he doesn't get any ideas during my time of the month...just saying maybe you should start doing that.
limabeans101029 21
Some couples carry on doing things while the woman is on her period, I guess it just isn't a big deal to some people. Or maybe he knew that she was on her period and was just so drunk that he forgot
anonamous14 9
I think her FML was directed toward the fact that she had to go to the ER to get her tampon taken out, not the fact that he tried to wake her by fingering her. She never said she was raped in her FML so chill people, people these days are too sensitive.
Kikiers21042 18
I see a lot of comments about molestation and rape. How do you know that he didn't have permission before hand? When me and my boyfriend started dating we talked about that and he had permission to have sex with me asleep or to finger me or whatever. Most times I'd wake and if I didn't feel like it is tell him no and he'd stop. We don't know what there limitations or boundaries were. As far as we know this is completely normal for them besides the tampon getting stuck in her. She was more upset about the tampon it seemed like to me not the fingering.
samurai1833 16
You should talk to the spooning kid.
JKPwnage 27
I'd just like to remind everyone that OP'S BOYFRIEND WAS DRUNK. OP'S boyfriend isn't an idiot, the drunk version of him is.
Algorithm 24
If you can't stop yourself from trying to finger people in their sleep when you get drunk, you need to not drink.
kaitlin1234567 9
What a ****.
hoosiergirl94 31
You couldn't get it out yourself? Or feel that happening?