Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
never_alone 10
how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper
wondermoose 28
did he not realize that right away or?....
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Comments (186)
joeblow6969 5
This is the first FML that made my jaw drop. I'd ban him from the premises for the immediate future.
Silk_Routes 14
Awww...he is keeper Op...u r lucky, take care next time onwards!
_awwhellnaw_ 45
How is he a keeper? He assaulted her while she slept!
Poison_Girl23 11
you're not even supposed to wear them while you sleep at night anyways, so it's kinda your fault.
limabeans101029 21
Read the comments above. You aren't supposed to wear a tampon for longer than 8 hours. It makes absolutely no difference what time of day you wear it, or whether or not you're asleep when you wear it. And even if you weren't supposed to wear them at night, that hardly means OP deserves to get it shoved right up there.
danihammer 4
What the hell are you talking about? Of course you can wear them at night. Educate yourself.
TJY 10
I've never had to say this but this is probably an FML I could've gone my whole life without reading.
toxicdaydream 18
Sounds like you need to have a good talk with him about intimacy while drunk... As well as implied consent. If you were asleep, I mean I hate to be that guy but that constitutes rape. Hope you're alright OP
introvert_ 9
Oh shït!
Gardevoir2 11
Am I the only one that wonder why she had to go to the ER ?
Melissajoanne 2
#SexSentMeToTheER
Okamichu 21
Why were you sleeping with a tampon in? That's a fast way to get TSS :/
limabeans101029 21
Read the comments! TSS can happen if you wear a tampon for too long. It doesn't matter what time of day you wear it, or whether you're asleep or not, it just matters how long you wear it for. The tampon doesn't suddenly become lethal when it gets dark outside. It's common sense!
RageWolf16 31
You can't sleep with a tampon in jfc you're gonna get TSS