Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML
Today, I found out that last night, when I drank a bit too much and blacked out, I freaked out about "losing my tampon in my vagina" and made my boyfriend fish through to look for it. I had already taken it out before then, and was too drunk to realize. He told me he almost called 911. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
never_alone 10
how did he not notice the string? and how did you not wake up in time to stop him? you must be a heavy sleeper
wondermoose 28
did he not realize that right away or?....
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Comments (186)
griddy24 18
HEY GUYS who are dissing the idea of consent: Please ask yourself, and I mean really think hard and try to imagine the situation: How would YOU like to wake up WITH A DICK IN YOUR ASS?!! Just jammed in there while you were asleep, no lube, nothing, just thrusting and ripping away. Really: how would you like that? In this particular situation, I agree the charge of assault MIGHT be questionable. Bad judgement and shitty sex skills (just jammed his finger in there before she was wet??) on his part, definitely. But generally speaking, it is highly disturbing that people are disgusted by the idea of having the power to decide whether someone sticks their shit in you or not. Wow.
limabeans101029 21
-.- It's very common for couples to wake each other up by doing something sexual. Obviously just jamming a finger up there without any foreplay doesn't sound very appealing but who knows, maybe some people like that. It's entirely possible that OP and her boyfriend do this often, it just so happened that this time didn't go well because he was drunk. My boyfriend often wakes me up by going down on me and, although I technically don't consent because I'm asleep, it is in no way sexual assault.
Frammy007 7
YDI for sleeping with a tampon in. It's dangerous and one of the easiest ways to contract TSS and land in the ICU. But still, nobody deserves a boyfriend that will force sexual acts upon them in their sleep - that's some serial killer shit right there. Dump him ASAP.
Farmillionaire 8
So he is a serial killer because he was trying to wake up his girl by playing with her?? I do that alot with my wife and never once have I killed anyone.
syed121417 22
That's a very common misconception. There is absolutely nothing dangerous about sleeping with a tampon in and if there was they wouldn't sell them. You get TSS if you have your tampon for extremely long like 18 hours or something crazy like that. Also, I don't think the boyfriend did anything wrong. They're together and he was trying to do something nice. She never said she objected him fingering her, it just didn't work out well
limabeans101029 21
Totally agree with #74. If you sleep with a tampon in for, say, 8 hours how is that in any way different from wearing a tampon for 8 hours during the day? And loads of couples enjoy waking each other up in a fun/sexy way from time to time. There's nothing "serial killer" about it.
militarybrat 21
He was ******* DRUNK do people not understand this?!
syed121417 22
For those of you talking about consent: do you know what true consent means? She never said she told him to stop and he did it anyways. Maybe she was half asleep and he wanted to wake her up. Plus sometimes you forget tampons are there; happens to me sometimes. If she didn't object, feel uncomfortable or like he was doing wrong, then she consented. She determines whether or not she consented, not some people on the Internet. God, calm down, bros.
Pycnogonida 16
^Nope. To consent is, by definition, to "give permission for something to happen." And... you can't give permission if you're asleep (unless you did so beforehand with the explicit idea of "yes, it is ok for them to do [thing] to me when I am asleep".)
e_is_for_eli 12
you said "if she didn't object, feel uncomfortable, or like he was doing something wrong, then she consented" but then you continued to say "she determines whether she consented or not"...
ebonyirony 29
how the **** do you know if she didn't give permission? since the FML didn't say "my boyfriend raped me and I had a tampon in", it's pretty obvious she gave consent beforehand
Pycnogonida 16
^The fact that the OP, as far as we can tell, seems okay after the fact with the sex act performed on her (if not ok with the tampon-related consequences) does not mean that adequate care was taken on her partner's part in obtaining consent beforehand. What if things had turned out differently? If it had turned out that she was very not ok with having sex things done to her in her sleep - and many people aren't, as some in this comments section confirm -he wouldn't have known that until it was too late.
a1_z9 10
All the current stuff about consent is meant to give people more control over their body and the right to feel safe. If the OP still feels safe and in control (if rather irritated), surely telling her she shouldn't is a step backwards?
blackonblight 33
Consent means "yes" not a lack of "no". For ***** sake. Apply that to something else. "You don't say I couldn't pierce your ears while you were asleep, so I did nothing wrong." "You never stopped me drawing dicks on you, so you consented to it!" Stop acting like a child trying to avoid punishment. "No one told me I wasn't supposed to draw on the wall." Ugh.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Why do you sleep with a tampon in?
limabeans101029 21
Lots of people find pads very uncomfortable to sleep in, and cups aren't for everyone.
xenomi 2
And I feek uncomfortable when I just think, when tampon can't absorb more blood and it has to be still inside till I wake up and change. Before my first kid I had very heavy flow and I found maternity pads were very comfortable at night
maybeimhere 7
Sounds like a bloody mess!
everton99 16
"Oh ho looks like there's a slight blockage, I'll just push through this!"
2_Many_2_Count 3
Oh honey, you have my deepest sympathies
marlie01 18
This has happened to me except drunk and it was his penis. There was no need for the ER either ?
mzshannababy 16
he got caught red handed
inolongercare 19
How could you not dig it out? Use your kegel muscles and fingers