Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML
Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
Today, and for over week, one of my nostrils has been stuffed to the point I can't breathe through it. I tried nasal spray and blowing it out, but nothing worked. I wanted to go to the doctor but first, I used a flashlight and a pair of tweezers. The giant, crusted booger bullet I pulled out was as long as my palm. FML
Today, I had to take my fiancé to the hospital so they could remove a tampon applicator that he claimed he somehow "fell onto". It was lodged up his nostril. I'm marrying this man in a week. FML
Today, I woke up with a really annoying bogey blocking my nose. Eventually, I just covered the other nostril and snorted as hard as I could. Good news, it came flying out. Bad news, it landed in my eye. FML
Today, I got a tooth pulled out. I now have a hole connecting my mouth to my nose. Drinking and eating is whole new experience. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I found out that when you put Kleenex up your nose to stop it from constantly draining snot, it is possible for it to rip and get stuck in your nose when you try to take it out. Words cannot describe how incredibly uncomfortable that was. FML
Today, at the age of 27, I learnt that your tonsils aren't the dangly bit at the back of your throat. I work in healthcare. FML
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Top comments
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
Moron... really... did ya try any other holes first? if so, I hope you told the ER doc!!
Evarella 8
This is just downright stupid.
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Comments (116)
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
Moron... really... did ya try any other holes first? if so, I hope you told the ER doc!!
slick5880 22
This should have been painfully obvious.
aruam365 24
I have lots of relatives who are doctors, and I'm going to become a nurse. I've heard this is quite a common ailment... amongst 3 year olds.
kaprookie 3
So OP, how much lego can you stick up your bum?
awagh666 14
Cocaine feels better up your nostril and you dont need a doctor. A coroner maybe, but not a doctor.
hemz_fml 13
I bet you'll try to piece your lib next with an infected piece of jewelry
CryMoreFMLs 15
37 - Did you steal some of 29's cocaine? If not, maybe you should see a doctor, because that had no relation to the FML.
baker969 0
Challenge Accepted!
ohxdamnxkay02 12
I believe OP was trying out for the show World's Dumbest.
SadSadKidd 1
Look at the bright side, a glass marble is not too bad. If it was a Crack ****** anal bead, it would be a different story. You do not want to know about that. PS cocaine is a hell of a drug....
hbbs93 6
Were you the same person who stuck a lightbulb in your mouth and had to go to the hospital?
joc47 7
obvious? yes; painfully obvious? only afterwards
Evarella 8
This is just downright stupid.
markrs 0
I've tried this before! Oh wait. No I haven't...
evilscorpi 29
you really thought it was going to be easy to take out huh??? lessoned learned
That0therguy 4
Plug one nostril, and blow really hard? That takes a specialist?
Anubyte 0
That's what she said!
uhhRawr 7
But if it's stuck enough you probably could hurt yourself. Like pop a blood vessel or something like that.
BlackR6Rider 5
Thats sounds like snorting a linr or amoking s bowl! U dsrv it!
Cappiej 18
What the hell are you trying to say? Trying hard not to become a Grammar Nazi...
xlorawrz 9
English, ************, do you speak it?
CryMoreFMLs 15
I am tired of these muthafuckin' typos on this muthafuckin' app!
Jimster1712 0
48, i can understand your rage by using your rage face pic as a visual aid... FFFFUUUU
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Turtle pities the fool who can't spell.
austin1313 0
I hate you kind of people. Spell right. Please.
xXSillyLoveXx 0
If you: TyP lyKK DiSsS, get the **** out.
j_cat187 20
Something about snorting crack? Smoking a bowl? Maybe he just smoked a shit load of crack?
Uncle_Moe_Lester 3
I did something like that but in my ear I was also 6
sluggums 3
yeah...this is natural selection in action. just a matter of time before this one is out of the gene pool
LaDbug 2
We can only hope so...
iam_yummylicious 12
*grabs chainsaw to give to OP*
bluebell707 13
Smart ass
NoNotTheFace 8
A ball stuck in your hole? In the doctor's room... Ok ma'am. We're going to slowly remove the marble from your nasal cavity. All you need to do now is bend your head back and widen your nostr...HOLY SUMBITCH you need a nose hair trimmer.
dreamering 16
Waiting for DocBastard's new profile picture.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
I'm waiting for his words of wisdom. :]
HerpYourDerp 7
Well somebody was bored...