Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
The face has changed but the breath's the same.
honutattoo 0
dogs are just that awesome
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Comments (111)
knockasauras 0
OP got off from it, unadmittedly. She posted the FML because all her friends saw it happen and she didn't wanna be judged and disowned for being a freak, knowing deep inside that *********** is what gets her going.
angrynegro7 16
Hey! It's inter-species erotica, fucko! :D
Fedor_is_KING 0
Clerks 2 FTW! This does sound like the begin of a very bad "special interst" video....uhh, not that I'd know.
sentient 10
unless your dog is the size of a horse, YDI
sweeteen16 0
WTF yuk
Anonnamus 0
Is the OP the same guy that couldn't outrun the drunk senior citizen? That would explain a lot...
truthisRelative 0
win!
youthink_fml 0
You watched him do all that then let him get that close to your face, knowing he was going to try to lick you? Just baby steps to licking it yourself?
liloneex3 0
lmfao, OP.
korn247 5
YDI... you smelt his fart, saw him lick his butthole, then let him lick your nose!! do you live in the backwoods with other hicks??
paul924 0
well all dogs love licking another dogs rear, so I guess he was spot on
neonskittzy 0
and you stayed there why... ydi you could have moved.
LtHoward 0
LOL Sorry but that's hilarious. Hopefully you washed your face after that ordeal =P