Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CallMeHush 1
The face has changed but the breath's the same.
honutattoo 0
dogs are just that awesome
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (111)
queenofdeath 0
hahahahaha YDI for letting him lick your nose
goonie85 0
My dog prefersto plop all 85 lbs in front of you while you're eating and vigorously gnaw his crotch (audibly I might add), so you have to notice. He also prefers cat ass to his own ass. Jackson does not lick my face.
brandon_penguin 0
holy shit, the vocaulary use you had is so funny
nodbor 11
will then, next time your dog farts don't stick your nose near his ass.
42billybob 5
this one made me laugh.
GameAddikt 0
don't worry dogs tongues, and this has been proved by scientists are constantly being steralized by their saliva, so
Mcstroodlenugget 0
**** dogs they smell and they are gross.
FMLover3 0
dogs are not colorblind
PredyJessica 0
and that is why dogs are mans best friends =)
hotty6789 0
why would u let him lick ur face