Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. His dog, Baxter, has a bad farting problem. I decided it would be okay to let a silent fart out and blame the dog. Baxter was outside when I blamed him. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
eddeeezzyy 19
The ultimate **** block.
FML64128 7
That stinks.
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Comments (107)
FML64128 7
That stinks.
aidanrulz11 10
Haha :p
Vladash 14
Ahaha I see what U did there....
Sports_guy3 28
Humans: 0 Animals: 1
kylemerritt 8
no pun intended
fakedsincerity 32
I cannot believe the pun did not get downvoted! Good job.
IAmJad 18
I laughed a lot more than I should've at that pun.
purrypie 9
I'm still shock
eddeeezzyy 19
The ultimate **** block.
zandalee 20
True. My dogs farts can make your eyes bleed.
xSonic 9
Plot Twist: It was the boyfriend, and he's really good at covering up
lisaroxmysoxx 16
What's the big deal about a fart? It's a natural human body function.
shinikageWolf 15
Yes but when said bodily function reeks of death, it kind of ruins the whole sexy time mood.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
Go to a different room?
Vladash 14
But it's NOT a human fart.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
Yes but the boyfriend thought it was.
MexicanGinger 5
Just stop
iknowiwantyou 13
17. once the mood is gone, it's GONE. Til later that day or the next.
fakedsincerity 32
clearly you do not have a dog. their farts are toxic and stinky beyond belief!
lisaroxmysoxx 16
I do have a dog but dogs don't control their farts, so just move on and continue with your day. Why are so many people anti-fart? Lol.
AliSama 17
I am with you. Animals do what animals do. The issue is he didn't trust her enough to believe her. If i was the bf I would laugh and tease her about the nasty dog fart. Lol
lisaroxmysoxx 16
Right?! That's all I was just trying to say. It doesn't matter if it was her or her dog, it's just a fart. Lol.
MoellerCrusader 1
We care because they smell like asshole
1R1X0X0 10
Some people here still need some time to grow up. Pathetic that the most educated comments get thumbed down.. I See why evolution takes that long
iknowiwantyou 13
some people get turned off when they smell a rancid puke-inducing stench wafting in the air. and I guess some don't.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
72, I did say that you could leave the room, and honestly, it was a kiss. Not much new to be turned on. 71, I'm with you.
ryanthecheeseguy 18
#81 oh you're one of THOSE people
retrofuture 4
Shut up bitch. Farts kill it.
lisaroxmysoxx 16
Lol no reason to call me a bitch, 87.
nokturn_fml 11
You guys are idiots it's a fart get over it. Let me guess when your at your partners house you hold in your shit till you get home? I think it wouldn't ruin the mood but be funny if anything
lisaroxmysoxx 16
90, seriously! If a fart is going to be a big deal, then you're not in a serious relationship.
TwistedCherub1 15
My marriage is serious, but we still don't like the dog in the room when we're getting intimate because he farts a lot and the smell can be gag-inducing. It's hard to feel sexy when you're trying not to puke in your mouth.
error404n0tf0und 21
that was a CATastrophe. .. oh wait wrong Fml
JMichael 26
I don't believe you either.
grossn 12
Maybe your dog is one of those air fresheners with sensors and goes off everytime he sees you two together?
iknowiwantyou 13
farts usually don't classify under the "air freshener" category.
sarahbevan20 11
Anti-freshener
iknowiwantyou 13
You should've looked at your boyfriend with great disgust instead of blaming it on the dog.
domolovesyoshi 33
but the dog actually did the deed so the blame was justified
perdix 31
There's an easy fix: Have your boyfriend put his nose up the dog's ass and match it the smell to the fart. With either verdict, you're not going to want to kiss your boyfriend for a while ... or ever.
Nyx_fml 23
But he has so many brownish colors in his profile pic. Expert brown noser.
krupa1017 18
Oh damn, that stinks!!
ryanthecheeseguy 18
I wonder how many times I'll see this pun on this FML.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Many. But hey, better this than "shitty situation". Edit: I think i jinxed us all.
error404n0tf0und 21
I love your profile picture!
juststephhere 23
Are you sure it wasn't you?