Today, my girlfriend, whom I thought I would marry, broke up with me. She broke up with me because I don't believe the government controls the weather. Um, what? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Sinshine 28
Congrats on dodging that before it got complicated.
shannon2348 14
and you want to marry an idiot like that? ydi
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
Sinshine 28
Congrats on dodging that before it got complicated.
Mathalamus 25
The government can seed clouds with dry ice to make it rain, so....
shannon2348 14
and you want to marry an idiot like that? ydi
CookieMonsterElla 7
In some way they do. Just look at all the CO2 they leave, that directly controls the weather. Meaning that in some way they do control it.
Koios 30
That's not controlling the weather, that's affecting it
E2dav 5
you sure she wasn't taking the piss and wanted to break up with you for something else but was too much of a coward?
ftpallday666 16
You’re better off mate
RichardPencil 32
See? That's why Trump says climate change is a hoax -- it's not going to change, it's just going to be what the government wants it to be. Follow the money.
Ashamed_Sister 60
You shouldn't say **** my life but rather something like hallelujah.
protoskore 27
lucky for you, dude. belief in conspiracies only increases over time.
longnight83 9
I suggest volunteering as a stunt man for the new Matrix movie they're working on, because you're already dodging bullets like a pro.