dogggg
Pune, India
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
killjoyx
Suffolk, United States
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Anonymous
Nutritious
Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML
aaalias34
United States
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
Andrea Trevor
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Username
United States
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
SHIT-BREATH
Chepstow, United Kingdom
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Vicky
My BFF
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Steve
Self-defeating move
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
smellsofeggs
United Kingdom
Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Top comments
Crazynocatlady 22
He was probably just trying to get rid of the taste of his balls.
martialart1st18 19
Ew you need to wash your face.
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Comments (77)
martialart1st18 19
Ew you need to wash your face.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
And keep your toilet clean and shiny! As germ free as possible for future licks! :)
wolfgold2 20
Toilet water is pretty tasty.
sometimessam 16
#21 Hard to keep your toilet water germ free. It's kind of made for germs.
chinaski7628 32
While you should keep your toilet clean anyway, keeping the lid down is the best solution here. Dog can't drink out of it if he can't get to it.
cathrope 10
Been there, tried that and my dog would lift the lid up with his muzzle anyway.
Enslaved 38
If you have a dog that's capable of lifting the toilet lid with his head, then also keep your bathroom doors closed and make sure he always has clean fresh drinking water in his bowl.
desoxyn242 14
Maybe put some books on the lid? Or duct tape it down? Lmao
mackdeezy 22
Sharing is caring?
lnheritance 19
As long as there was no urine or feces in the toilet, then should be no problem. So accept his gift of gratitude!
JJ_86 22
What about all those invisible germs? Flushing down don't make toilets sterile.
purplemango 21
Then you kissed him afterwards for being so nice? :P
Crazynocatlady 22
He was probably just trying to get rid of the taste of his balls.
vlalam 24
lol, u should have given it a french kiss to say u forgive him
brettrb 18
People tend to frown upon things like that.
The_4th_Doctor 13
Um..I don't think people French kiss their dogs.. o.0
thevelociraptor 31
Um what your suggesting is border lining **********...
Jess_Mc22 4
Yeah and dogs have the cleanest mouths...
martin8337 36
I don't know about dogs, but with people, the asshole is cleaner than the mouth.
JBChristian 47
Any hole will be cleaner than your mouth, because holes are void of anything.
DocBastard 40
Martin8337 - That's a very annoying myth. How many people get deathly sick from kissing? Now how many people get ill from drinking water contaminated with faeces? Right.
rocker_chick23 27
#6 that is one of the hugest dog myths ever concocted. People have been hospitalized because of a dog bite that became infected. A dog's mouth contains a lot of bacteria that is dangerous to people.
badluckalex 23
why was your face so close to the dog?
martin8337 36
Hopefully the toilet was flushed before the dog drank from it.
Crimson_Summer 10
awh, no harm done, though, eh? he was just being sweet.
Nilorak 24
Have I been drinking water the wrong way my entire life?