Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
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Comments (187)
skyeyez9 25
Bigger does not always mean better when it comes to dogs. Bigger means they eat a ton of food, you need a shovel to clean their man sized dumps, boarding them in a kennel is more expensive, vet meds like heartworm and frontline is more expensive vs a dog 50lbs or less. Plus large breeds dont live very long. My friends english mastiff is only 5and it is already showing signs of being old: grey muzzle, stiff joints, slowing down.
skyeyez9 25
My australian cattle dog is 11 and still very energetic and healthy. He can keep up with me on long runs.....and doesnt try to bust thru my doors like superman.
xoxchelaxox08 17
Bigger dogs may not e better foe YOU, but some people prefer them. Personally, I'm not too fond of smaller dogs. They have just as many drawbacks.
xoxchelaxox08 17
*be *for
Muffin_Tops_fml 2
did he at least have fun? that what counts.
d3ll001 0
do you have the pug from the doretos superbowl commercial?!?!?! I thought I warned you not to antagonize the dog
k9obsessed 5
lmao clever, #103. But there is NO way that pug weighs 180 lbs. XD
Frostillicus123 10
If that is the least of your issues than life is peachy
aberle5 0
Hahahaha can u send me a photo???
GeneralMotors 23
what up with the "-" before "Today?"
Livinia 11
See comment #120.
smiley5858 0
what kind of dog is this?!
the_flirttt 8
omg! I hope she is okay!
Tuesdays76 0
And now he weighs mote than you
AKALurch 0
holy smokes, an 180lb dog?!, what kind of dog do u have ?!?