Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
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Comments (187)
yuggi1 11
FYL indeed. I understand why you won't build a doggy door, he is so big that a burglar can crawl through it.
illmatic2 16
My dog weighs about 125 pounds. And just two months ago I did too.
lundy02 0
wat kinda dog do u have?
jaegerbomb96 5
Your dog is heavier than me. D:
caracherries 0
180 pounds is exaggerating a little, lol. Although some breeds get pretty large, not even a Newfoundlander gets that big, and they're one of the largest breeds! :o Someone is over feeding their poor pup.
sundayporch 2
St. Bernards and Mastiffs can weigh between 180 and 200 pounds without being overweight.
Tuesdays76 0
Ya 63 you don't know what your talking about.
xoxchelaxox08 17
My Neapolitan mastiff weights 196.
xoxchelaxox08 17
To add on, Newfoundlands aren't the largest breed. Mastiffs, Great Danes, and Irish wolfhounds are bigger. There may be another breed or two that I'm not aware of. not everyone with a large dog is over-feeding them, you dim-witted soul.
caracherries 0
I own a couple of different breeds myself, and yes, while mastiffs and St. Bernards are larger breeds, the females aren't 150 to 200 lbs.
xoxchelaxox08 17
My dog is living proof that females can be just under 200 pounds. She's not fat, either. Also, I feel like I should apologise for the dim-wit comment, so my apologies. misplaced anger...
goldenwar125 0
Fat ass dog u got there!
blackop79 7
I really don't understand what just happened here
XDBrittany1228 0
was she okay??
illmatic2 16
I was just saying that not too long ago my dog weighed as much as I did.
Dean_king 0
damn what kind of dog you got