Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
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Comments (187)
xxxxshanexxxx 0
i hope u can fix that plaster
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
PUPPY POWERRRR! :D
scar97 0
did anyone else think of the doritos superbowl commercial with the dog in the first sentence?
ILoveEggnog 7
Yes. I immediately started laughing.
Shootamonkey3 0
No, I thought of you getting bitch slapped by my dick.
Shootamonkey3 0
^^^ You're a dirty girl :P
jess6blondie9 3
It's a guy..
Shootamonkey3 0
No shit but I still say dirty girl.
Want_ToBe_Normal 0
Can you say "Animal Shelter"?
chuckychan 8
time to get a doggy door?
GenocideTUH 0
you mean he flew through the door like underdog not superman
BisFitty 7
My question is, who the **** has a door made out of plaster?
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
omg u found Krypto!!!!
johnnie99 0
73- that's scrappy doo
skorpien 1
105 - I'm guessing you missed the part where the dog slammed into the wall. Unless that was added after your post by the mods, in which case don't mind this post.
Sassybq1 13
lol he says it in the show too silly
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
iwubbtitties_fml 0
Lol win ^
Autoshot 9
(( ( -.-) o_(")(")
rawr9able 4
...(/) ..(0.0) ((")(")/). Bunneh? o_O
musicofmylife 6
that dosg bigger than me!!!
rends 0
You have a cool dog.
kingtz 6
Yeah, sounds like an awesome dog. I'd love to play wrestle a dog that big.
Poopolicious 5
ya hoo
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
illmatic2 16
Yeah! And before you know it everybody will be throwing puppys through their walls....
FriskyTaco 0
That sucks, get a pet turtle next time.
hannahgymnast 0
I had a turtle once... we let it outside and it ran under our shed and died D:
holstarox 2
How can a turtle run...?
HowlingFire 21
Turtles can be pretty fast when they want to be.
Snowstar 0
UNDERDOG!
Snowstar 0
UNDERDOG!
jewels1877 0
Sounds like a ruff landing..
humorizer 14
I don't get it.
kingtz 6
#28, no, I think they're just that stupid.
chuckychan 8
wait who are we talking about?
hockeyrocks39 0
hahaha.... nice
IBeDantastic 0
Lol@ the 28 guy above me. I believe you going through that whole explanation would make you the dim one... saying "I don't get it" only implies that this girls " ruff landing" joke was horrid. Although im pretty sure that's how she meant it to be. DieInAFire >:I
ceddyz17 10
ah haha that's silly
fookinprawn 3
hey #28 ..... I dnt get it...
A7X_LoVeee 10
Is the dog okay?!
jess6blondie9 3
No the dog died.
A7X_LoVeee 10
GOOD ONE JESS! LOL JK.
Tuesdays76 0
Ha that was the first thing I thought. I hope the dig is okay. If that happened with my dog I would worry about him first, then the wall. Of course my dog is only 65-70 lbs.
TheNewGuy03 29
damn, the dog weighs only 40 lbs. less than i do. >< |the kid|
iwubbtitties_fml 0
Ur fat
kittykat1497 7
or he has muscle
KiddNYC1O 22
20 less than me. His fat what, 82?
nono721 0
hey random but we have the same birthday lol :) any chance you can tell me or know how to upload a pic onto this from an iPhone ?? :)
PSQ91 6
More ---> my account ----> change picture----> Album ----> choose picture. Voila!