Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML
Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, during a firework show, my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bed. FML
Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML
Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML
Today, my little Pomeranian dog got onto the kitchen bench by jumping onto the washing basket, the bookcase, and over the window sill, and ate my daughter's birthday cake while I was in the bathroom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Doortje 30
That's actually pretty awesome. Call it design/modern art and pretty soon all your neighbours want to borrow your dog.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Thats one big dog!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
mendes1987 0
hah! I love dogs
Shanana_hey 0
This is the best FML ever.
NBS93 0
Today, my FML had a random hyphen at the beginning of it and there was no space between "180" and "lbs". FML
shakadoo 10
hahaha that's soooooooooo funny haaaa haaaa
Gaiwa 0
180 lbs??? That's a big, heavy dog O_O
ASISMason759 0
they should have an "epic winning" button :P
runninbrotha 0
if my dog didnt weigh 45 pounds she would have ran through a lot of walls by now :P
Anonymouser81 0
Clifford?
teeheelicious 2
OMG! just like in the cartoons!!! rofl xD
rockarolln89 0
Jesus H. Christ, either your dog is Clifford or he's just morbidly obese...
xoxchelaxox08 17
You're a ******* moron. Google Irish wolfhound, English mastiff, or great Dane. It's not unusual for these breeds to reach 200 pounds at a healthy weight. My Neapolitan mastiff weighs 190, and is not the least bit fat.
fookinprawn 3
well don't you just know everything #171