Today, my girlfriend's husband heard us having sex, but he's so naive, he believed her when she said we were just watching porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML
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Top comments
FireMars 14
That poor man, honestly. To cheat on him is disrespectful, but to have sex while he's at home is even more so. He deserves better. The guy knows, he just doesn't want to lose what he has; even if he is been made a joke out of.
Itsheragain 9
thats terrible...your karma is coming my friend.
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Comments (19)
FireMars 14
That poor man, honestly. To cheat on him is disrespectful, but to have sex while he's at home is even more so. He deserves better. The guy knows, he just doesn't want to lose what he has; even if he is been made a joke out of.
Taylor Caldwell 10
I totally read this differently as two couples are somewhere together and the one couple heard the other couple having sex and the wife said it was just ****. Jeez English is tough.
FireMars 14
It can be yeah.
Itsheragain 9
thats terrible...your karma is coming my friend.
WistayShlaio82 13
Well aren’t you just a poster child for privilege
Audrey Gogoj 4
what the **** is wrong with you? he knows. he just can't bring himself to leave.
Mathalamus 25
I hope it was worth it...
juggalo2 22
Sounds like she's betraying a trusting soul. An actual human would feel bad in this situation.
ojoRojo 27
“Today, my girlfriend’s husband—“ YDI.
spinspinsugar 12
no it's f his life cuz his wife is a ho
distortedcognition 17
You sure used a lot of words just to say “I’m a piece of shit”
Nhayaa 21
I like how you shorten things. Good summary of the situation.
J15237 25
Karma is a bitch dude. What the **** is the matter with you? You are aware that she is married? Damn at least have some respect for the other guy. Yes he is a bit dumb for believing her, but seriously I hope that you and the girl go to hell. And to cheat in his own house? How disrespectful.