Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML
Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML
Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
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Top comments
friedpwnadge 25
Give him something to cry about.
laughtersplay 14
Secretly take a video of what really happens and show your parents his bullshit. Youngest siblings shouldn't always get away with everything.
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Comments (106)
Soph0725 8
Yep your life definitely sucks
Kyouzou 15
There's a button for that.
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
1- If you didn't know what to comment, you shouldn't have bothered.
YacL 15
But he saw the opportunity that (mostly) everybody waits for! The opportunity to be first comment! He couldn't just NOT say anything, he HAD to secure his place as first comment. Oh the life of an FMLer.
sens3sfailing 25
While I have had opportunities to be first I usually get 3rd or 2nd to stop and think of something witty and its worth it. Still seen just as much and actually contributed in a positive way.
SoSickWithIt 14
There was nothing in the comment you just made 48 that contributed to this thread at all. The only contribution my comment is making is making sure everyone else knows your comment was useless. Adieu.
sens3sfailing 25
my comment actually required you to think, sorry. the theme was it is better to actually leave a good comment then try and get first because first comment sucked from rushing to get first. it was quite relevant, no need to be an ass cuze it flew over your head.
eggmarie 25
There was absolutely no thinking required to decipher your comment... He was pointing out thy you say your comments contribute in a positive way, yet that comment saying so had no contribution to the thread at all
sens3sfailing 25
I said it in a really arrogant way, I admit, and it isnt even close to true that my comments always have a positive effect. what I meant was I try to do that, and don't go for #1, but instead getting a good comments. considering you were wrong on what I was trying say, you really had no place to comment.
sens3sfailing 25
and what the **** is the thread about if not trying to get first comment?! I would really like to hear this.
YacL 15
Well, going off the first comment, which this thread should be in reply to, it's about how much OP's life definitely sucks.
supportcommand 17
I'm surprised that this thread is still in existence. 12 of the most useless comments ever.
louisstephen 8
You have all completely misunderstood the comment. The tinge of sarcasm is however, quite obvious and has successfully attracted people who were bored and full of themselves. Vos gueules bande de los
friedpwnadge 25
Give him something to cry about.
BryanThaMan 14
Agree, if the fake crying is that effective the outcome should'nt be much different, for you ;)
patrickalamo 48
Kick his ass
Steve95401 49
A punch in the balls would work too.
adamo_erebus 26
Exactly what I was thinking. If you're going to get in trouble anyway, make it worth it.
GweedSincE84_fml 15
Thats right, then after you beat his ass tell him if he gets you in trouble again with fake crying then the same things gonna happen, only worse next time.
YacL 15
2 You clever bastard. I see what you did there, with your picture.
laughtersplay 14
Secretly take a video of what really happens and show your parents his bullshit. Youngest siblings shouldn't always get away with everything.
laughtersplay 14
Younger*
n3rd43v3r 10
who said he's younger?
TellMeWhatsDeath 14
It's pretty obvious he's younger... it's usually the younger ones that get away with everything, especially by crying.
LordoftheOcelots 10
Have you ever seen a little sibling get in trouble for upsetting the older one?
bestnameright 14
Sometimes it's the oldest sibling that's bad! My brother is horrible to me for no reason most the time, also my parents don't really believe in punishment so...
n3rd43v3r 10
32- yes
MissNicky177 6
42- bullshit! You made that up! That would never happen first of all the older ones are usually harder to upset and the younger ones always get away with everything
sens3sfailing 25
My older brother was terrible to me as well but with my anger I aggravated it sometimes so a lot of times our fights ended with us both being sent to our rooms
scarperwins 1
Oh the incredibly intelligent generalizations in this thread...you are so right, older siblings NEVER act out in an immature way. Stop talking about it, why does it even matter the ages of the siblings?
laughtersplay 14
All types of siblings fight and get each other in trouble, in matter of circumstances. But its most common for the older sibling to get in trouble because of the younger one. They either know better or take responsibility for the younger one's mistakes. I would know since I am a middle child.
ManInTheMachine 20
I'm an only child, but all of my closest friends have younger siblings, so I know how they can be, and it's annoying as hell. They'll either play one parent against the other (i.e: "Mom, can I {insert request}?" "No, of course not!" "Okay." *goes to ask Dad or other parent*) ...or they'll bitch at their parents until they get what they want, which doesn't take much. Or, better still, they'll completely overreact about something for the sole purpose of getting the other sibling in trouble (for example, getting pinched and screaming their head off, saying the other sibling punched them). I'm not in their family, and it pisses ME off.
alycion 39
I'm the younger and it didn't work that way in my house. We had to work things out on our own if it was minor. Hitting each other landed both of us punishments. And I wouldn't even think of playing one parent against the other. My sis tried it once and I learned from her mistake.
ProjectN69 12
Crying, younger siblings only defense
Shilokitten666 19
No one said younger, im the youngest in my family and i was the one getting in trouble for making my older siblings cry even after they turned 18
MarisaCB 16
You should learn how to fake cry too.
SokDek 14
Or fake a heart attack.. I hear that's working pretty well these days.
spikekutter 9
how old is your brother? tell him to stop being a pussy and grow up..
Rancor 5
That's what I did to my brother, worked like a charm.
miyaviichan 27
Well damn I wish I could do that too. Too bad it's a younger sister.
GothicAngel17 24
23- Tell her to stop being such a boy and grow up. Worked like a charm on my little sister :P
Pyapi 20
Does he threaten you to fake cry in order to get you in trouble? If so, record it or video tape it and expose him!
theannak 7
Every time he fake cries, give him a reason to really cry.
danial1214 21
Lock him in a closet and don't let him out until he promises to stop and if he goes back on his promise do it again until he cries for real and begs you to let him out. Thats how i solved my brother's fake crying problem.
xxBitchxPleaSe 6
You did let him out eventually right?
ryry013 6
No he's still in there. O.O
TheDrifter 24
He's a Wiley one. Start doing things so messed up that your parents will never believe his stories.