Today, my dick of a neighbor tried to file a noise complaint against me, all because I have the flu and am sneezing a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to let my nosy landlord into my apartment to ensure I didn't have an unapproved guest over. Why? Because she overheard me sneeze, and then bless myself. FML
Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML
Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML
Today, my boss forced me to come into work despite having a bad cold. While waiting a table, I violently sneezed and sprayed a child's face with snot. His dad got so pissed that my boss had to pretend to fire me just to calm him down. FML
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Top comments
thatguynamedsky 32
well thats snot nice
KaidensCrow 18
start sneezing into a megaphone
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Comments (57)
theoldman 22
Does your neighbor have super hearing? Or do you scream when you sneeze? I'm trying to figure out how a neighbor can hear you sneeze and cough. It sounds like the walls are incredibly thin and would make some situations uncomfortable if you can hear one another that easily.
KaidensCrow 18
it sounds like I yell "aaahhh SH*T!!" when I sneeze lol
ChaiseT 16
Do you not have sound proof walls or something?
KaidensCrow 18
start sneezing into a megaphone
KaidensCrow 18
megaphone would be more fun. :)
KaidensCrow 18
a pillow would only have been ok if he had acted like a rational adult and said something to op instead of calling the police.
FalloutScrolls 25
I'm convinced some people wake up every day and their first thought is "Hmm, how can I be a total asshole today?" Get well soon, OP.
mads_fml 7
Do you shout-sneeze every time?
captainsmegma 12
Time to invite him over for hugs.
wordygirl 11
Bake some cookies and sneeze 10 times on them. Wrap them on plastic wrap and take them to your neighbor. Tell him your mom just baked them and brought them over. Tell him you felt guilty for making so much noise and wanted to make things up to him. Main thing is act SINCERE!!
wordygirl 11
Bake some cookies and sneeze 10 times on them. Wrap them on plastic wrap and take them to your neighbor. Tell him your mom just baked them and brought them over. Tell him you felt guilty for making so much noise and wanted to make things up to him. Main thing is act SINCERE!!
0k3up 9
I'm*
delaneyseal 15
Did you get sick of his bullshit?