Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML
Today, I tried to save money by buying a generic brand of coffee instead of my usual brand. It tasted terrible and I ended up throwing it away. FML
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
Today, while on break from work, I went to the cafeteria and bought cheese cubes. One of my coworkers, who is usually very pleasant, asked to try some and I said yes. She ate all the cheddar cubes in the bowl, which are the only ones I like. I wasted $3 for someone else to eat my food. FML
Today, I've been trying to make the most out of my short vacation by dieting, by eating a big pot of yogurt with lots of fresh fruit every day. Turns out what I thought was yogurt is actually heavy cream. FML
Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML
Today, I realised that on top of my gluten intolerance, garlic intolerance, and just the general having to poop way too much in 12 hours, apparently my system does not like ice cream anymore. I get diarrhea after eating any amount. And I love Klondike bars! FML
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Elisabetha Aarron 18
1000% Deserved it for thinking low calorie ice is good. There is no point in eating ice cream if you are going to try be healthy about it.
Susan Yee 9
Duh. Low calories food tastes like crap. Once I accidentally bought low sodium Campbell soup instead of regular kind. Tasted like water, not good way. I returned the rest. The grocery employee agreed they tasted awful.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
Susan Yee 9
Duh. Low calories food tastes like crap. Once I accidentally bought low sodium Campbell soup instead of regular kind. Tasted like water, not good way. I returned the rest. The grocery employee agreed they tasted awful.
Elisabetha Aarron 18
1000% Deserved it for thinking low calorie ice is good. There is no point in eating ice cream if you are going to try be healthy about it.
RichardPencil 32
You buy ice cream by the bucket? Your problem may be portion control! Next time, try the trough!
Hangryko 32
You were on to something with portion control, but did you really have to tack on "try the trough?" Really?
RichardPencil 32
Yes, otherwise people would think I was being serious.
Gina Marie Lombardi 15
Try rebel ice cream it’s low carb and yummy
genuinegoodguy 9
Buckets of ice cream and low calorie? Oxymoron.
Hareki 3
Oh, please don't do this to yourself! Even if you are on diet, it is better if you take a tiniest portion of most decadent ice cream you absolutely love, than a lot of stuff you actually do not like. Fill yourself with some veggies and after that enjoy that small ice cream as slowly and comfy as possible. I'm on diet - and now I do want an ice cream too. :D Good luck to you with dieting! We can do that!