Today, my "friend" almost killed both of my cats by feeding them chocolate donuts, even after I slapped one out of his hand and spelled out to him exactly why chocolate is bad for cats. Just to rub more salt into the wound, I got pulled over for speeding while I was driving like mad to get to the vet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, my dog nearly died when my mom fed him chocolate. After finding out dogs are not supposed to eat chocolate, she promptly grounded me for not telling her. FML
Today, I agreed to catsit for a friend. Her cat rode back to my house sitting on my shoulder in the car. As soon as I opened the door, he jumped out and ran off into the woods. It's been 2 1/2 hours and not even food will entice him back to me. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML
Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML
Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML
Today, after coming home with a delicious chocolate cake that I bought for Easter for my family, I realized my mom's cat was chewing on the end of my cellphone charging cord that I left on the floor in a rush to head out the door. I'd only just bought the cord yesterday and the cat chewed on it so hard, the plug's bent. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
Yes, chocolate is dangerous for dogs and cats. Getting into a wreck on the way to the vet because you were speeding is just as dangerous to them and to you. I understand your worry and concern, but driving unsafely enough to get a ticket was not justifiable.
Thaylok 17
Also, depends on the weight of the cat, how much the cat ate and how much of the chocolate is real chocolate.....
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
The moral of the story: Salt is bad for chocolate donuts.
Chazzster 32
Yes, chocolate is dangerous for dogs and cats. Getting into a wreck on the way to the vet because you were speeding is just as dangerous to them and to you. I understand your worry and concern, but driving unsafely enough to get a ticket was not justifiable.
Thaylok 17
Also, depends on the weight of the cat, how much the cat ate and how much of the chocolate is real chocolate.....
phile 15
Im not fond cats but I love a great bond between someone and their cat. I pray they live the longest life and you can have friends that isn't as dumb as that idiot