Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
realggirl 0
Hehe. (: *He* deserved that one.
EMR_fml 0
I approve of your attempt to murder Ed Cullen. If I saw a glittery gay vampire I'd probably try to mow him down with my car too.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
lmyfife 0
Yeah, definitely FYL. Come on, that was dumb... You wouldn't see a vampire in a *mirror*, they don't have reflections!
sexypancake 0
Edward isn't a vampire. Don't allow him to tarnish the proud vampire name by calling him one. He's a human disco-ball.
failuristic 3
^^^THANK YOU #65.^^^^
DawnFireAngel 0
#65 A HUMAN DISCO BALL!!!! Thank you LOL I now have something to call him by. Before it was just 'the sparkly dude'
Critter456 0
THAT'S GREAT!!! Human disco-ball!
Patastic 0
This shows...Edward Cullen SCARES. Totally your dad's fault.
Pearljammer001 0
Edward Cullen= McDouche
frateh 0
if he was backing out then wouldnt the garage door be open by the time he saw edward cullen, thus allowing him to only hit edward cullen (Y) and not the door? Or in the case that his garage is big enough...shouldnt u have seen edward cullen?? lol.....
quackquackquac 0
that's what I was thinking... I don't know about you guys, but I open the garage door before I get in the car.
taycandy96 2
thts what he get
saranottelling 7
So... you technically killed Edward Cullen and your garage door? Thank you, OP. You are a true American Hero! (I know the OP isn't American but when I think of American Hero the theme music plays.)
wallflower3 0
The OP could be American, when you don't post your location it automatically sets it to Ile-de-France, which is where FML originated.
mps1969 8
Wow I've always wondering why so many people post from there now I know why Thank You for that tidbit of info .
wallflower3 0
That's right! Well, I knew it was in France.
saranottelling 7
I know that was the default but knew the OP could be from outside the U.S. (I didn't see any grammar that related to the U.S. or outside the U.S. like neighbor or neighbour.) so I just assumed, and I knew if I said he was from the U.S. there would be one person saying, "The OP's is from france, stoopid!!!!11"
zac2012 0
FAKE! you can't have the car magically back out then hit the gas and it change to drive
mps1969 8
( Slaps head ) Read it again !
containsnosoy 0
Which pedal do you hit to move when you're in reverse? The gas pedal. ;)
jamieboy11 0
thts so meen of ur dad holy crap I'm surprised u don't hav glad a house
dzerzhinsky 0
lol wut
dzerzhinsky 0
YDI for being a pussy
schalk 12
Some people might want to read the post again - "as i backed it out", "saw him through the mirror" (you know, reverse). What doesn't make sense is how this person backs out before the garage door is open all the way, like #9 wrote.
Critter456 0
Thank you 27! you'd think if ppl are on the Internet they can at least read!