Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
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Top comments
realggirl 0
Hehe. (: *He* deserved that one.
EMR_fml 0
I approve of your attempt to murder Ed Cullen. If I saw a glittery gay vampire I'd probably try to mow him down with my car too.
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Comments (165)
mcgugs 0
you weren't scared....deep inside you you know you pressed the gas pedal because you wanted to run him over once and for all...
hedgehogs 0
We need a link to click for "Your father deserved it."
randomgirlm 0
Did u rely think it was the ******? Wow OP ur a dumbass 4 sho
jesusstolemybike_fml 0
Wow. Just....wow.
davek 36
Your dad deserved it. And so did Edward.
containsnosoy 0
I can see it if they are going in reverse to get out of the garage, because you wouldn't really see the cutout, or that the cutout wasn't a real person, until the garage raised up to the cutout's face. Going forward though? I would think that you would be able to see the cutout (given you were paying attention) and it wouldn't of been so bad. Either way, wouldn't their foot be on the brake? It'd take some thinking to go straight for the gas. Fake or not, it definitely sucks. I'd love to hear the conversation between your father and the insurance rep!
jimjimson 0
Why is your car on while the garage door is closed? Isn't that kind of dangerous?
cupsie89 0
hehe, why did you have an edward cullen cutout?
Lioness48910 0
YDI for being that much of an Edward Cullen fan
LadyKaya 0
obviously wasn't enough of a fan to not run him over with her car
sleepygamer 0
"Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction." Everyone screaming "FAKE YOU DON'T BACK OUT WHEN IT'S CLOSED LOL" please read that again. It's poorly phased (possibly because of the character limit on FMLs) as it implies that the OP's dad put it there AS they were backing out. I think the OP's dad most likely put it there before they even got up. Most garages I have been in are dark, meaning that spotting it might have been difficult, until there was more light let into the garage. Lots of people have remote control garage door, and they are all slow as shit, so I imagine the routine went "Get into car, start door opening, start engine, glance in mirror, see face, panic and slam on the gas, hit the door while it is still opening." Granted, this leaves a lot to chance, but a lot of FMLs are based on a series of coincidences. Have a little faith.
DawnFireAngel 0
That was exactly what I was thinking.....
yourlifesfucked 0
OP took one for the team. so you may have a mangled car and half a door. cheer up! you succeeded in destroying a shitty piece of memorobilia from the worst drivel ever! if you are a gitl op i would date you, and if ur a guy i would give you a high five.