Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, my mom had been in a really bad mood. She got in the car to take me to work, and without thinking, started backing up. The garage door was only half open, and now has a huge dent in it. FML
Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
realggirl 0
Hehe. (: *He* deserved that one.
EMR_fml 0
I approve of your attempt to murder Ed Cullen. If I saw a glittery gay vampire I'd probably try to mow him down with my car too.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (165)
youthink_fml 0
You're an idiot. Didn't see it when getting in the car? You slam the gas when something startles you? You had it in gear heading for the garage door while it's down? No matter how you look at it, you're a moron and shouldn't be driving.
MURPHYCHACHO 5
Don't worry. If I saw Edward Cullen I'd probably try to run him over too. The abusive, stalking, manipulative ****.
waterynuggets 0
Don't quit yer day job, you suck at making up FMLs.
BlueTwist89 0
If your dad knew you were that obsessed with twilight—and Edward Cullen—he should have thought twice about putting the cutout there. He deserved that. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck that half the garage door is missing, lol.
polico_wolf 0
where does it say that he op was obsessed with twilight and edward cullen?
jamjenni2774 0
This is one of the most stupid FML's I have ever read
wallflower3 0
Is anyone else wondering how OP's dad managed to get ahold of a most likely lifesize Edward Cullen cutout?
Twinklestar 0
How do you "have" to date people? Can you not make choices for yourself?
Twinklestar 0
Sounds like another Twilight anti-fan making up an FML just to voice their ever so original dislike of the movie. It makes no sense how you would hit the garage door if you were backing out of the garage, unless you back out of the garage with the door closed.. I mean this isn't just calling fake for the sake of it. It just doesn't make sense, even if the OP phrased it wrong and really meant she was driving forwards into or out of the garage, or backing into the garage rather than out. The garage door would still have to be open.
Compass 0
That seems like a pretty reasonable reaction. If I saw Edward Cullen in real life, I'd probably freak the **** out, trying to find my gun, knowing garlic, crosses, and wooden stakes wouldn't save me against a sparkly vampire.
exquisite 0
Who let this idiot through?