Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
Today, I found myself in the unenviable position of buying tampons, chocolate, ice cream, and condoms for a woman I’m in love with, but am not dating. She asked me to get them since I was going to the shops anyway. I want to die. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML
Today, my boyfriend asked why I’ve been so grumpy lately. When I told him it’s because our relationship has been severely lacking in intimacy, he sighed heavily and said, “Ugh, fine, let’s just get it over with!” Gee, thanks babe. FML
Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML
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Top comments
dreams2383 20
why would you propose? to make yourself more miserable then you already are? break up with her. she is cheating
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
So you proposed after you realised that not only is she cheating on you but is making you pay for the condoms to do it. You deserve every moment of pain she gives you if you're dumb enough to continue.
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Comments (8)
dreams2383 20
why would you propose? to make yourself more miserable then you already are? break up with her. she is cheating
poopface82 25
Still a better love story than Twilight. Yes, I’ll see myself out now. Worth it.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
So you proposed after you realised that not only is she cheating on you but is making you pay for the condoms to do it. You deserve every moment of pain she gives you if you're dumb enough to continue.
RichardPencil 32
You proved her wrong! You win!!
Nikki 17
She sounds incredibly manipulative and emotionally abusive, I hope you can find the strength to get away from her!
kitten79TX 5
This doesn't make any sense. You discovered she's cheating and you proposed instead of breaking up??? Call it all off and get away from this toxic person. If you don't, you'll be miserable for the rest of your life. And heads up, she's not going to stop cheating because you've just showed her you'll tolerate it.
Wadlaen 24
Congratulations!! And good luck!!!
wrenavery90 12
Wait what?? You think she cheated so you proposed? I'm a little confused by that.