Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from my dad's house. He'd shaved her head bald. "For a laugh." FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML
Today, whilst taking a shower, I noticed my razor wasn't in its usual spot. Upon inspecting it closer, I noticed that there were tiny white hairs in it. When confronting my father about it, he claimed the "pink razors" are his. We've been sharing the same razor this entire time. FML
Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML
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Top comments
dakotahulsey 15
Now you can put it on and impress girls.
just16letters 15
Well you didn't specify where you wanted him to keep it..
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Comments (57)
dakotahulsey 15
Now you can put it on and impress girls.
aireeahna 23
That would only work if op was a guy or was into girls.
dakotahulsey 15
Thank you for letting me know
ender6137 5
Like Beavis and Butthead!
woainishamu 21
He shaved it just for you. (Save)
Tobber 16
Wait, you meant 's(h)aved'? :D ... No, still not funny
glabberfasted 16
He Sean Connery shaved it
Kamon97 23
You guys aren't funny...
Lct1196 31
I like how this entire string of comments all have a large number of negative ratings
JaneChemi_fml 21
my turn :D
just16letters 15
Well you didn't specify where you wanted him to keep it..
SemiAuto 21
Must've been a hairy situation.
PotterHead_DH 26
No.
birdeye1524 12
I still don't know why this got x such negative votes. I loved it. I laughed way to long at this actually.
SemiAuto 21
I'm sorry. I'm new to this app and did not realize it would get so many down votes.
SemiAuto 21
People must not like puns lol.
mad_hatter0666 22
Nah...we don't mind puns, it's just that one has been really over used here.
SmokinGuns 13
Puns are supposed to be creative and funny. This was obvious and overused.
patchesOhoolihan 12
People on iFunny love puns, FML users, not so much. Especiall all the overused "situation" ones
Nilorak 24
Your dad is a legend.
GEBEH 14
Maybe he took it a little too literal.. hopefully he has a great sense of humour and didn't actually think you wanted his beard in a jar!
OptimusVader 23
I'm pretty sure his sense of humor is the reason why he put it in a jar in the first place.
lisslyi 19
Why would you want him to keep it?
Nilorak 24
Maybe he just had a special bond to his dad's beard.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Or maybe because if your dad doesnt have a beard you have two mums.
OptimusVader 23
Or maybe it's like with my dad where you've only ever seen him with a beard and couldn't imagine him without it. My dad shaved his beard only once before and I thought there was a stranger sleeping on my living room couch when I got home that night. Weirdest situation ever.
bluucat 17
Guess he wasn't clear about what you meant...
chutney_02 22
#9 Just like how OP wasn't clear what he meant in the FML
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#13- No, OP was pretty clear about it...
Ashamed_Sister 60
Now you can glue it to yourself ... wherever you need hair.
Stryker78cRS 15
WHEREVER you need hair... LOL
colby6666 43
Sounds more like an FML for him. "Today, my [son/daughter] told me [he/she] wanted me to keep my beard. So I shaved it off and put it in a jar in [his/her] room. [He/she] is now afraid to come near me. FML"