Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML
Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
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Top comments
KingLewisII 34
No humor like dad humor
VonBlitzkrieg 27
If he thinks it's gay for a son to love his father, he either had a bad childhood or he's got some backwards-ass way of thinking.
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Comments (67)
ihunter_rae 12
dang, sorry about that. I'm sure he loves you back, I think it's a thing for older men. they don't seem to be the "I love you" type but I'm sure they think it in their heads
beaverteaser 16
probably should have just gotten him a beer
efettes 19
Kind of reminds me of Red from That '70s show.
rks01 13
shove that love up your ass, eric
Bekll 31
I was thinking of Cotton from King of the Hill.
blancoing 14
tell him yes and see what happens.
BvbArmy_0 18
You shouldve said yes
SPARTAN11810 9
you should say Im fabulous as you walk out
midnighteyes14 11
how lovely
steph_solaris 11
Always follow with a "no ****"
carbonbasedcynic 17
how is a petty insult thrown by someone on their man period FML worthy?
Saraishi 25
Some people just have difficulty with expressing their feelings or even hearing someone express how they feel about them, OP. Don't take it to heart.