Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
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Top comments
Nolimit2217 32
He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.
A07 48
Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"
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Comments (75)
X_KassidyRose_X 12
Maybe he doesn't mean it.
vikky538 29
Men speak truth when they are drunk
devildog562 33
Definitely not true . I always lie when I'm drunk. "I swear I only had two beers." "I'm not that drunk." "Just the tip." So on and so forth
jayennachristine 23
Then he hasn't drank enough
A07 48
Maybe next time try "Hi, Papa"
DFMLharsh 20
Rather get back to him and call him DAD the whole freakin day!
Nolimit2217 32
He must be delusional. Being called "dad" is one of the best things ever.
MrConcise 35
Depends on the context. In bed? If you're into that. Not knowing you have a child? Nope. Handing over an alimony check? Hell naw.
Enslaved 38
Or maybe the dad's feelings were hurt because he thought OP was accusing him of being "HIGH" vs drunk. Lol
NonoMeow 18
Ooooh, that would make sense, #35 xD
MrConcise 35
So are we gonna start using "drunc" to say goodbye? ;)
IniestaRox 21
It must hurt to see him like that
scarred_foreva 40
Midlife crisis? Doesn't want to be reminded of his age maybe?
jodiitiger 13
Call him Victor (unless his name is actually Victor) to annoy him! He'll soon be begging for you to call him dad again xD
badmandilon 19
He probably don't think he deserves being called dad when he knows he is doing something bad.
ironmany_fml 23
plot twist, maybe he is not the real dad
Cads1 24
May be he is not your dad. Perhaps your mum cheated and got pregnant with you but he forgave her and stayed married.
DFMLharsh 20
Dad escalated quickly o.O
Cads1 24
Dad was a pretty poor attempt at a joke.
DFMLharsh 20
Dad's enough bro.
Cads1 24
Dad be a fair request.
NonoMeow 18
Dad pun is starting to get annoying.
DFMLharsh 20
Is dad so?
Cads1 24
I thought we were taking a break from dad.
HeadlessSparrow 20
What he said reminded me of Eeyore.
DLS930 21
sorry to hear that OP! Maybe he was just in a bad mood and had drank too much and said something he didn't mean