Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML
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Top comments
iaaan 0
wow jerk
Sungod 0
In Sovjet russia, door slams you! anti flooooood
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Comments (423)
stupid20201 0
what a fag
oscaroscar 0
haha my dad used to do this to me all the time.
purplemnm 9
microwaves are people too! they need love like everyone else.
ohsoelectrik 0
dude, my dad is totally the same way. I feel ya.
ivyshade 0
probably just having a bad...parents are allowed to have them as well, start respecting other peoples property..YDI
chorse 0
HAHA
bandgeek_bri 0
maybe he was very possesive of his microwave. OP, u need to be considerate of others feelings.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'm so sorry. My dad randomly lashes out like that sometimes, too. It sucks. I once loaded the dishwasher but forgot to run it, and he acted like it was the end of the world.
seanreddog 4
Are you hot yet?
nerdsgetmehot 23
#108 Why, are you nerd?
seanreddog 4
Maybe. It's a secret!
nerdsgetmehot 23
#133 Oh noes! I must know!
seanreddog 4
You'll never know!
gasbreakdipdip 0
what's with all the shit
dontbmean 0
smells like an underlying issue....
HeatherXCore 0
I've had my dad punch me in the back of the head and kick me because I turned around after I washed my hair and water landed on him. :/
SeasonedLemur 5
Are you serious?! wow some peoples dads on this board sound like utter wankers... I'm gonna find mine and give him a hug he's quality!
YouKnowJosh 0
my dad shot me cuz my mom went into labor while he was trying to watch the game
ALERI0N 0
101- im sorry, your dad mustve been really abusive if he hits you for getting water on him.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hydrophobia? Sounds like rabies. Time to have him put down. (Yes I know that's not what "hydrophobia" means.)
HeatherXCore 0
Yeah I kicked him back. He really wasn't abusive that's the only time he ever really hurt me, but that is really just something that stuck out in my mind when I read this.