Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML
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Top comments
iaaan 0
wow jerk
Sungod 0
In Sovjet russia, door slams you! anti flooooood
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Comments (423)
artsyfox 3
Maybe there was a lot of stuff bothering him, then he finally had it and snapped at you when you slammed the microwave door.....just keep swimming just keep swimming haha :)
Shinygirlnz 1
This is bull, there's obviously a whole 'nother story underneath what the OP is telling us.
Despina 0
steroids?
findley 0
iambatman complains about every fml submitted
KateyDid 0
lmao! this made my day! (:
Eyeliner_fml 0
Wow! Maybe he should work at the libary? That sucks op. FYL btw; don't feel so bad my parent's yell for dumb thing's too x]
missdezzybabee 0
Hahahahahahaha that's a true Lmao!!! I hope he cools off later
glitterbabe224 0
hahaaha lovely father you've got there. but just walk away or leave for a while, it always works(:
alicia_was_here 3
i feel like this isnt the whole story. i bet the op was being a bitch and slammed the microwave door b/c she was mad about something. you shouldnt be slamming doors whether you were mad or not its just a bitchy thing to do. sooo. ydi. ;p
ThatsJustMii 0
haha lolz