Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my dad in his hotel room. I lost my temper and stormed out onto the balcony for some fresh air, at which point he decided to lock the door behind me, trapping me there for half an hour while he watched TV. FML
Today, I finally had it out with my abusive father. I spent almost an hour detailing about how he constantly humiliates me in public, treats me like slime, and hits me at random when he's in a bad mood. His response was, "Quit being such a wimp" because I'm "not female." Mom took his side. I'm 16 and can't move out. FML
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML
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Top comments
iaaan 0
wow jerk
Sungod 0
In Sovjet russia, door slams you! anti flooooood
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Comments (423)
AndyJ666 0
LMAO. Your dad fails op, fyl :')
FYL_IMMD 0
MY dad threatened to make me go in the port-a-potties next to the construction in our development b/c he thinks I put the toilet seat down too hard.
eatsleep247 0
sounds like my dad haha. only he would tell me to get the **** out, not the other way around. FYI. try your best just to ignore him and his antics and hopefully he will mellow out or you come to the great fortune of moving out. FYL
DiNgO_lOvE 0
wow i thought my dad was harsh.... i sowwy.
Tayv412 4
wow
BMax15 0
all th hatred he has 4 u prbly built up n he couldn't take it anymore.
Tyler1990 0
If that's all it took for him to get that pissed, I'd say, "see ya later" and be gone. But that's just me...
dreambig22 0
you probably had an attitude with him.
morgan06 0
haha that sucks. 75 is hot xD
aback 5
Switch him to decaf.