Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
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Top comments
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
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Comments (109)
Chevydude44_X 12
You poor, poor thing.
crazytwinsmom 25
My daughter set me up on snapchat and sends me stuff all the time and even told her friends to add me, which some did. I rarely send her anything though, I'm still Mom.
obeselady 1
I think its also kinda sweet.
ibanghellokitty 8
Sweet..? He's gonna have sagging pants, and his going to say hashtag a lot... !
1adela1 5
I imagine the scene .. Its hilarious
dreadbeat69 12
Next he'll be wearing snapbacks/gauges and listening to metalcore.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Snapchat? What, did he magically turn 14? No, if he says bazinga, or wicked cool, that definitely means he actually is old but is desperately needing attention and wants to be considered cool, under any circumstances. I almost find this sad. :(
yeti37 16
Sad, maybe. But did it really deserve the "**** off,dad" username? Ouch. There must be more to the story.
x_the_lancer_x 13
The visuals you are forcing upon us... *shivers*
jdeezy01 13
The new parenting technique of peerenting
VancouverGuy89 9
Your dads trying to connect with you in a way most kids parents don't do that consider yourself lucky and humour him it's your dad after all