Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
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Top comments
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
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Comments (109)
brandoneyez1 25
Blazinga!!!
ibanghellokitty 8
It's people like you that start this shit.
fitztho 3
Honestly, humor him. You are lucky this is the path your father is going down for a midlife crisis. My dad left our family three days after my high school graduation. We convinced him to come back, eventually, but it's still a somewhat sore thought.
MrE187 12
Just go with the flow, because one day you'll try to do the same thing.
mxij 13
But that swag though
sarahbevan20 11
If i were you, just tell him you appreciate the effort hes putting in to try to bond with you (i honestly find it impressive that he even has a snapchat). But if it gets to the point where youre uncomfortable with him trying to "befriend" you, just tell him. But make sure to point out that you appreciate the effort.
disneyguy 4
My dad had a midlife crisis that involved a bottle of vodka a day quitting his job relentlessly beating the shit out of me and moving to Thailand be lucky for what you have
Pontiff 2
Peer-enthood. -Phil Dunphy.
born_hustla 26
Wicked awesome! What's up Boston!
cakeees_ 9
you should feel lucky to have a dad that tries to be a part of your life still.
justawaywardbutt 2
My dad has been doing the same thing. He texts me and it's really weird. I text my mom but it just seems creepy with him.