Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
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Top comments
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
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Comments (109)
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
nightowl713 25
It could be worse. Parents are meant to be parents yes, but if your lucky you'll have such a relationship with your parents that it can turn into a friendship later in life when their job is done, so to speak.
JennaNGood 21
I can't speak for having a friend-like relationship with my parents (they're very old fashioned), but I think it's a fine line you have to walk to be able to become friends with your child later in life. OPs dad is not handling this transition very well, in my humble opinion.
loganHchrist 9
#12 you're absolutely correct!
poopsi 19
Well, my mother is my best friend, and at the young age of 15, I've never done anything to get grounded, never smoked or did drugs, haven't dated or anything.. Parents can still parent while being your friend.
JennaNGood 21
28, I feel like this would be a valid point if you were a couple years older... I'd never done anything when I was fifteen either, most people haven't.
jkmartinjk 16
^Woahhh... I don't know what it's like in Toronto, but here in BC, 15 year olds have done evvvverything.
JennaNGood 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
In Toronto for school, summer I live in Kingston, and before that it was Petawawa, so maybe I'm just getting old (ha ha), or old fashioned.
James_is_Mexican 25
#32 I'm 18 and I have never went to jail, still a virgin, never drank and never smoked. Not everyone is bad when they are older...
JocelynKaulitz 28
1, That must explain why my mom unfriended me from Facebook.
Lacist 19
I don't know parents can be best-friends, if they are really open minded and look upon the intention rather than words. For example some parents really don't care if their kid swears as long as it's in privacy. I mean you don't tell your friends to stop swearing because you aren't allowed too.
OBTrice 15
It's called parenting not peerenting
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
kamikrazy 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Such swag, much cool.
Sports_guy3 28
You do know what swag means, right? S- Secretly W- We A- Are G- Gay -Unknown
lauratorresarig 8
Right? My parents don't even talk to me , just enjoy it!
PenguinBitch 44
@40.. You believe everything on the Internet? Wicked cool bro, me too dawg!
patrickalamo 48
That is kewl
Ins0mau 20
Swag is just short for swagger, which even Shakespeare used back in the day.
davidislost 11
#26, nobody got your doge reference :( much sad.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#98- People probably got it...it's just annoying.
hockeygoalie13 15
I feel like that would be embarrassing. It's nice that he's trying to get closer to you though!
x_the_lancer_x 13
Yes, it would be nice to have your parents try to get closer to you, but I don't know about any of you guys, but if one of my parents started saying "swag" I would come pretty close to throwing myself out the nearest window.
stephhrunsaway 21
Agreed. My dad ignores me (except when he barks orders at me) and spends all of his time with my little brother (I'm from a culture where boys are valued over girls).
junkman6 22
#24 if my old man said "swag" in a serious manner and not just joking around. I would take him out back and shoot him. It sucks, but when someone is that far gone you just have to put em out of their misery.
diiiinkleberg 13
I think OP needs to have humor about the whole situation, I would find it hilarious
cocainewhore 30
#41 I read that as your dad barks at you. OP I feel your pain, my dad added all of my friends on Facebook and tries to talk like a chav in order to rebuild our friendship.
SwordSlayer99 11
Have a talk with your dad and tell him you need a father, not a best friend in your life.
CarbonCoach 11
That would let him down, I feel bad for him maybe it's a tuff time for him and needs someone to actually understand him. It is kinda weird but I wouldn't let down my dad if he were to do that...
yib 4
Hipster dad strikes again!
flufee2 27
Haha he's just trying to fit in with you.
dextrementor 24
Does he let you get away with more things or is he trying to be a "strict but cool" kind if dad?
vlalam 24
Trust me, that's way better than parents that don't care for their children
shaytards_fml 9
Awh that's cool
UrYousername 15
Every parent goes through a phase like this.
HammyBear13 8
not every parent.
Freethaawave 19
84- you'd he surprised. Once they hit that mid-life crisis age....Stuff starts to happen.. My dad turned into a teenage girl.
ibanghellokitty 8
Like tweaking if you don't listen to them...?(got it from another op) Wow if my dad said bazinga 24/7 I would have to kill him in his sleep (I hate that word...)