Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
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Top comments
loganHchrist 9
Parents are meant to be parents, not friends.
CerSpence 11
You sound super lucky.... BAZINGA!
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Comments (109)
quiksilver415 17
At least you have a Dad that cares enough to try and be your friend.
julia9902 8
Wow... Awkward :| still you should appreaciate that he's trying to reach to you :)
Muttley9 13
We all have this urge to be young and "cool" again... or whatever the current expression is <getting out my walker as I type this>
ramboman19 8
Embrace it. Wish my dad did stuff like that. Some people don't even hear from their dads, let alone have one.
alex_gen 39
Sounds like perfect parenting. Maybe his constant saying of "swag" will lesson your need to say it.
coraline123c 23
This sounds like a guy version of my mom
loveingit 7
Really it is FML cause your dad wants to be closer to you? Yeah FML alright
Ins0mau 20
There're ways to be closer that don't involve Snapchat and the word "bazinga".
HammyBear13 8
You have no idea how many teens would actually give anything for that kind of attention from their mom or dad. Im sorry OP, but i dont see how this is a bad thing. If either of my parents showed even half as much attention to me as your dad is showing you, id be on cloud nine. I just think youre being a stuck up spoiled brat. Sorry, but thats just my opinion.
JoBHarvelle 7
My father and I are BFF's! Seriously. But we both know when he HAS to be a dad and not a best friend. I think once we develop that understanding it makes the bond that much better. We goof off a lot and seriously everyone loves him! A lot envy my relationship with him. But again, end of the day he's still my dad and he'll always be parental when he has to be.
russfml 31
Your dad is a troll by mistake, lmfao priceless!!