Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
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Top comments
dinosxxrawr 22
he's seen you at your worst. it can only get better from here.
SH4D0WS1N 3
He might have enjoyed the pajama part for all you know.
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Comments (86)
worldclassrager 41
Depending on your pajamas that might not have been a bad idea...get well soon..,
onorexveritas 24
if he doesn't want you at your worst ...
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Oh please! Because an attractive person saw you when you were ill your life is ******? Honey, if those are the circumstances which make you feel that way you A.) need a thicker skin B.) must be all of 16 and C.) need to grow up because that's life and sometimes, guess what? Shit beyond our control happens. Downvotes commence!
graceinsheepwear 34
That's a very mature outlook. I viewed your profile and was surprised to find you are all of 25. I applaud you. No downvotes from me!
Druu 53
This.
iwadasn 33
I don't think you understand the point of this website. A lot of the posts are just things that ruin your day, not your entire life.
rene22 18
All is going well with Dad's plan
alkolaali 7
You sure left a first impression
yukiokashi 12
on the bright side, he gets to see your worst side so if you're together, he won't get to see anything worst than that
TechFire 25
If he can't understand those circumstances and look past them, he's probably really shallow and you're better off with someone else lol
bardo264 17
That's exactly how I met my wife
MidnaLink 35
At least you had a valid excuse for looking horrible.
richiedbond 16
Im sorry OP but your dad is a genius!!! Can I meet him? I have 2 little girls and need some pointers...