Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML
Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML
Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML
Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML
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Top comments
dinosxxrawr 22
he's seen you at your worst. it can only get better from here.
SH4D0WS1N 3
He might have enjoyed the pajama part for all you know.
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Comments (86)
Druu 53
"Sorry, I just got out of bed. Maybe we can meet there sometime?"
moonsalt 20
Haha. That's great.
badluckdawson 19
This happened to me once except I threw up when I met her
1soda1pOp1 6
It's what's on the inside that counts!
Rozza17 29
Well OP's sick so I would presume phlegm and other bodily gunk
beyondneptune 9
he probably likes them dirty girls
Screwie 25
Please shower, too. It will probably make you feel better.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
Give him a hug.
Druu 53
Then they'd both be sick.. misery loves company?
mbuck87 19
Being sick is not an excuse to not shower for 2 days.
Ameel_fml 19
I'm guessing you've never been severely sick before?
DjeePee 25
Or that you don't know that your body doesn't need to be showered every single ******* day?
mbuck87 19
Lol #31 you sound a bit defensive... Have people been telling you that you need to shower more?
KeXu 6
Hmmm...she does appear to have some sort of gas mask on. Perhaps this means something?
swedeNix 13
Look from the bright side: hes seen ur worst look, can only get better;)
hej2010 15
Owned
fluffycatsdad 33
F. Your. Life. That must have SUCKED! I hope you tore into your dad once the neighbour was gone!