Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML
Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shamille 5
Your place must be on the way to someone he loves :'(
FlexT 1
Her dad DID give a shit.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
shamille 5
Your place must be on the way to someone he loves :'(
PurpleRae420 0
That seems like your a piece of shit so he's leaving you a souviner that's sad if I were you I'd move far far far away you don't deserve that! This is coming for someone who's dad doesn't give a shit either your dads a loser sorry to say but any dad that can do that and NOT even speak to his daughter gets the WORST FATHER OF THE YEAR AWARD
FlexT 1
Her dad DID give a shit.
ahole123 0
31 English please?
OhSoBueno 0
this is FML not bad therapy my friend.
RugbyKid 0
53. translation: I have no life, therefore I am going to write a large comment
VEVO_fml 0
he left his scent for you. Enjoy :)
EvilPotato 15
nothing says "I love you" like a big, huge, and smelly dump in your toilet.
Slythrr 0
that's what he thinks of you? idk what to say hahahahaha
imacreeper 3
You're all just giving 31 a thumbs down for no reason. You can clearly read what she wrote, and it made sense and wasn't like the other stupid comments she posts. Kudos to you, 31! You just earned yourself a thumbs up from me (and probably only me) even though it won't make that much of a difference :)
shutupYDI 4
did he leave some air fresheners?
qwert1994 0
Better the toilet than your bed. If you know what I'm saying.
boyguydudemalema 0
dude, if he had air fresheners he probably woul've used it on his own toilet instead of using his son's/daughter's toilet cuz his prolly already stinks
spencerstoaker 7
How sweet.
khaya 9
That's a strange question, I don't think OP is gonna taste it.
whiteboy7thst 2
...and sour chicken get in my toilet, Oh Dad!
angryoriental 0
indeed
Eggers 2
15- It's quite clear you don't visit 4chan, or you're just too ashamed to admit you do.
whiteboy7thst 2
That stinks..
Sings4Ever 3
Literally
FMLandurstoo 9
Your dad had to get back to my house.
whiteboy7thst 2
Figures
CryMoreFMLs 15
Herbert I thought you only liked young boys....?
FMLandurstoo 9
He's a DILF
ohhheyythere91 4
Clearly, it was a display of affection.
YacL 15
At least you know your toilet is good enough if he comes just to use it.
QueenPeppermint 7
Hey, it was a love poo... he could have gone to your neighbors house but he decided to fill your house with his stench instead. You should be happy. ;P
kaleighiscool 0
Ewwwwwwwwwwh!
orphinz 3
At least you have a toilet, think of that poor flat with only a basement.
triggahappi273 0
straight up
khaya 9
He wanted something to remind you of him until his next visit in a few months.