Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DaniPandi 22
That bites. But, hey, have fun on the dive!
IdontWanna69 8
As long as you're not on your period you should be fine!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Strafeh 9
Get back at him in three easy steps: 1) Get shark 2) Get Parent 3) Tell Him The shark is scary. BAM
Justforlolz 14
....Wut?
KiddNYC1O 22
What, what? In the butt.
FMLshark 12
I think this was an attempt at humor, guys. But that's just a guess. I'm not entirely sure.
atomicbaboon 0
and this is a prime example of survival of the fittest. jokes which are funny get thumbed up. bad jokes, such as this one, get thumbed down and minimized for the rest of eternity
ladyLALAA 29
44- 40 year old virgin?
Llama_Face89 34
144- what does that have to do with any of the previous comments?
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Just bring a long stick when you go diving and poke the sharks in the eyes and they will go away ;)
micahsmommy 13
Daaa dum, Daaa dum....
loginword123 0
I don't think he did that on accident!
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
You don't say?
s0m3guy2010 21
Fortunately for you, sharks only attack when they hear the Jaws soundtrack. Sting rays on the other hand...
bizarre_ftw 22
That's only when they hear an Australian accent
hippyhater3000 4
they only attack annoying Austrslians.
Lintu777 9
Just make sure you don't eat a snickers peanut butter squared. It should keep the hungry shark's appetite at bay.
Nbrandwine 7
Don't worry, he's just tryin to scare ya! I hope you have a good trip.
FMLsOhilarious 6
So what's your point? Are you really going to let some stupid movie based on a fake plot scare you?
immaMonsta 8
#22 Are you really that dense? OP is saying that they're a little nervous because of the movies.
FMLsOhilarious 6
No shit Sherlock. Thanks for explaining it to me. I don't know how I would've understood without your help.
bananaburger 0
Calm yourself there
The_Hitdude 12
FMLsOhilarious-If you "got it" the first time, why ask such a ******* idiotic question? And there's no need to be a sarcastic prick.
HolyPotato 9
Enjoy being slaughtered tomorrow! -Kidding. Have fun!
fsamslife92 8
Your dad has an excellent sense of humor.