Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML
Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
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Top comments
majesticous 29
You didn't knock?
legendairy3000 16
I see therapy in your future OP.
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Comments (68)
Silk_Routes 14
Granny got many of it!
sonasonic 34
So did OP.... Brain bleach anyone?
katydid91 31
At least she was kind enough to bring cake!
katydid91 31
Whoops, meant to say: At least your kind enough to bring her cake.
MrDonSalvetti 27
Still not right, try again.
Soviet_American 29
You were*
ArbiterOfFML 24
*you are. Terrible Grammar Nazi
majesticous 29
You didn't knock?
JuliaaNoelle 26
Maybe OP is close with her neighbor and she's told her that she can just walk right in without knocking
wratty11 17
Didn't knock, saw knockers.
pyrexicpoet 18
Heisenberg told him that he is the one who knocks so it made him cower in fear
Ang3lofd3ath167 18
The OP is Female
DarkVulpes 9
Yeah, my neighbor is hard of hearing and can't hear the knocking so she told me just walk in. The tv was going pretty loud, too.
Attacksloth 33
Knocking isn't something that is standard with everyone. I like to knock and ring doorbells, but my wife's aunt and uncle keep their doors unlocked and let people come and go as they please. Really depends on what kind of community you live in, and how trusting or cynical you are of humanity.
Mellowyellow15 10
Hey don't knock the knockers! ;)
Croooow 11
She's 92. She'd probably have still told OP to come in. Old people aren't known for giving much of a crap. :p
nancy_rm 10
Some things you can forget. This isn't one of them
skye147 20
Gotta love them saggy boobs!!!! Haha. Hope your eyes aren't burned forever
ironmany_fml 23
eww who like saggy boobs. no. just no.
5secondsofvvifi 21
#51 personal experience?
ichinikis 16
Did you knock? Or did you just walk in?
legendairy3000 16
I see therapy in your future OP.
miguel6gh 14
At least granny got cakes...
JuliaaNoelle 26
Have you ever heard of a lesbian
Papersock 20
At least it was thoughtful of you to give her some cake. Too bad you had to see that. Good on you OP.