Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML
Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML
Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Today, I arrived for the two-week scuba diving vacation I spent months saving, planning, and looking forward to. Today, I also developed an ear infection and can't scuba dive for 2 weeks. FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
DaniPandi 22
That bites. But, hey, have fun on the dive!
IdontWanna69 8
As long as you're not on your period you should be fine!
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Comments (146)
DaniPandi 22
That bites. But, hey, have fun on the dive!
comedybreak 20
So? Dont be paranoid and overreact
Insane_Tea 15
#10 Your profile pic is an inspiration to all those little planets out there.
Cad6 24
"bites" haha #1 I see what you did there ;) ...
FMLsOhilarious 6
I couldn't agree more 10. I don't know why people thumb down others who don't sugar coat their comments and just get straight to the point. OP just needs to stop crying and get over it.
LuckyTroll 6
I see what you did there, clever
FMLshark 12
Your dad has a creative way of giving you subliminal messages. Have fun diving!
CryMoreFMLs 15
64 - Your picture might give OP a nervous breakdown!
FMLshark 12
68: All the more reason I commented on this FML. ;)
gojira666 7
Just be thankful it wasnt a jaws sequel. **** those are bad.
The_Hitdude 12
54-OP never said anything about having a panic attack our nervous breakdown. Nothing in the FML indicates an overreaction...THAT'S why your comments were thumbed down.
efynsien 1
16-pluto wasnt changed to the status dwarf planet because it was small. It had more to do with the orbit.
zombiekillah 6
you so funny #1
DaniPandi 22
97- Why, thank you, I do try. (Let's not mention that's just how I talk...) Yep, it was most definitely a play on words.
mckenseymoore 0
Well aren't you a smart cookie
mim777 4
133 unlike you :P
deyona 0
Suspiciousss 0-0
UsernameUnknown 7
KONY 2012
kimgr 9
may i ask you why?
Soloman212 28
No. It's suspicious that his dad would choose those movies. #2 is pointing out the obvious fact that OP's dad is a cleverly disguised shark giving proper warning.
IdontWanna69 8
As long as you're not on your period you should be fine!
friedchickenpie 14
Because only 13 year old girls get periods... menopause at 14?
micahsmommy 13
Ew you ate a baby?
LaughinStock 16
No 117 just no, I mean I know its not real but **** man that's creepy.
buck33 14
Seriously, we know you're joking but that's still absolutely disgusting and not funny.
Whitesound 3
86 im a 13 year old guy...
Almandine 7
Most sharks aren't even attracted to human blood anyway...
Llama_Face89 34
147- pretty sure they're whipped into a frenzy by any blood in the water.
LiliLatte 15
#132 you think that's disgusting? Suck it up, YOURE 17
tellithowitis 13
He doesn't want you to go
markrs 0
Or: he didn't want OP to come back
tellithowitis 13
He would not have shown op those movies if he did not want him to come back. He wanted to scare op into not going. If he didn't want op to come back, he would not have spooked him...
IloveyouJon 11
It's ok OP! It's just a movie! I hope you have fun tomorrow!
Mister_Triangle 21
True, and sharks kill less people than lightning. You don't gave anything to worry about OP. Statistically, you're much more likely to die driving to where the boat is docked
ladyLALAA 29
Just don't be looking tasty on the day!
fuzzbuck1 4
Have fun;)
mk58 31
He obviously wants you to be eaten for dinner. Hey, maybe you'd make a good meal for me... *gets out a knife and fork*
bananaburger 0
Ehrm
Greeneyes41 1
You do know that's cannibalism, and in the great words of Willy Wonka, is frowned upon in most societies.
mk58 31
Ooooh, I have company... Looks like I have a feast for me tonight! *evil laughter*
123josie123 11
My guess is that he's trying to hint something *cough cough*.....
kooochris1995 14
^^ Do you need a cough drop or something?
ilyarmiehammer 6
Good ol' dad :)
blueandpurpleroc 4
Well considering you have experience and go with a couple of people, you should be relatively safe.
istishia 12
what blueandpurpleroc means is swim fast and dont look back
istishia 12
i was referring to the the joke where you dont have to outrun the bear, or shark in this case, just your friends.....
Schizomaniac 24
Yeah, but unfortunately in this case, sharks are so much faster than humans that they'd probably have enough time to eat all of your friends, swim 12 laps around you, take a nap, and then eat you before you had very much time to think about it.
istishia 12
again....joke
FMLsOhilarious 6
And your point is...?
KiddNYC1O 22
Point is op will probably be paranoid as **** during their expedition...
FirstTigerHobbes 13
Oh and we all know how paranoid **** is!