Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I writhed in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet, that I'm embarrassing him. He also mentioned that jellyfish were out today and that I should be careful. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung on the balls by a jellyfish. FML
Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML
Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML
Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML
Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML
Today, I went to the zoo with a guy I like, when we were there we saw a swarm of bees. I told him that if I got stung he would have to watch me because my dad is deathly allergic to bees and I have never been stung. Jokingly, he nudged me into the bush and said "let's see". We did. I'm allergic. FML
Today, I was surfing and trying to impress some girls on the beach. While I was out in the water, a jellyfish wrapped itself around my torso. I started to yell and freak out, making a huge scene. I grabbed it off of me, only to realize that I was freaking out over a plastic grocery bag. FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML
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Top comments
caplox 6
pee on it.
loserman67 36
Could have been worse. He could have whipped out his dick and started peeing on you in public.
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Comments (100)
stormchaser24 24
I have been stung by those too. I feel your pain. FYL.
caplox 6
pee on it.
ColdplaySucks 18
Have the lifegaurd pee on it; having your dad do it would be so awkward.
marinus_fml 20
#9 As a lifeguard, I can assure you a lifeguard won't pee on it. If it's a beach patrolled by lifeguards, they'll have cream you can rub on.
IIRoxieII 12
Vinegar helps
marinus_fml 20
As a matter of fact, urinating on it doesn't even work.
alycion 39
Meat tenderizer works great. We use to keep it on the boat when out crabbing during jellyfish season. That's the one thing I don't miss about ocean vs gulf. I've seen a total of one of those things since I got here. And yes, I did use to keep meat tenderizer in my beach bag. In a pinch wet sand followed by fresh water can work but not as well.
ucoolgirl31 20
Honestly, when I read up to the point about her dad coming over to her, I thought OP was going to say her dad peed on her...
ambamm135 7
After being hospitalized from a jelly fish sting I can assure you, urinating on the sting does not work. I was in Mexico and got all the home remedies for it, from ice to mustard and even to wd-40 -_-. Turned out I was allergic to the venom and I nearly fainted from respiratory failure. You need to pour water on the sting to get whatever venom is left on the burned are off first. Then go to the hospital, you never know what might happen, I felt fine for awhile then suddenly my heart and lungs felt really weak. So ya be careful.
unjustlychicken 10
I've been stung by a jellyfish and I can assure you, peeing on it doesn't do anything but make it awkward.
iStrukk 7
Am I the only one who thought about Ray William Jonsons song JellyFish Sandwhich off YouTube?
Calyx_fml 22
Or you can just stay out of the damn water!
efemel94 7
Stop worrying about the pain and call patrick and go jellyfishing.
alycion 39
54 was it a jelly fish or man o war? The second kills many people in Mexico and the islands? Of course allergic reactions to anything can be serious. I got stung by I still don't know what when I lived in va. Growing up getting stung by common jellyfish I know what my reactions are. This one looked strange and I couldn't move my leg for days. My husband and a bystander had to pull me out of the water.
heyred 11
"Nearly fainted from respiratory failure"? You mean, almost died?
ambamm135 7
74 it was small def not a man o war and I'm allergic to everything that touches my skin :( lol 76 you pass out from that before you die -_-
LOL1204 3
Am I the only one that immediately thought about the friends episode where Monica was stung by a jelly fish and Joey was willing to pee on her but got stage fright?
AKGirlinSD 20
2, I was going to ask, "Did you ask your dad to pee on it?" original poster? But apparently you're a ninja and much quicker to comment :-)
Lipbalm80 3
Pee on it is a myth it does not help!
marinus_fml 20
Use the sea water rather than fresh water to rinse it off!
golferman72 16
He's TRYING to look at for you, BUT sometimes parents don't do it right.
GothicAngel17 24
Vinegar is better. Usually where I'm from there's an easily accessible bottle of vinegar at most beaches. It's definitely better than pissing on it, too.
loserman67 36
Could have been worse. He could have whipped out his dick and started peeing on you in public.
cptmorgan6 8
That's bad?? Dammit dad...
ManicGypsy 22
That was my thoughts exactly!
SuperKnuckels 6
R. Kelly would do it for you.
stormchaser24 24
I feel your pain. Those things sting like hell. But better than a sting ray. FYL
cr3ativity 15
Those things have killed ppl, no joke.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
I've been stung by a jelly fish and a string Ray, the sting ray hurts worse especially if you got stung on your ass like me.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
*sting sorry
syki 22
As opposed to in private. Then it's all right.
Fishinaddict22 1
34- Stingrays don't "sting", they have a barb at the base of their tail that they spear you with. Like a bee, it then breaks off in your leg. Purely defensive purposes though.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Yea I've been stung by a jellofish too. Not fun
omfg_creepers 8
Was it a nice day out?
therealslim 15
I'm sure it was great
TheIchiban 11
Pee on it, and then throw some of it at your dad and say, "Just to be safe so it won't happen to you too."
Quinn32 16
NE1 wit 1/2 a brane wud no knot 2 due tht.
Enslaved 38
I once got stung by a jelly fish that was dead and washed up on the beach. Those hurt like crazy! Sorry about the pain.
MidnaLink 35
...you mean those things can still sting when dead? Yikes!
ambamm135 7
Happened to me too :(. It was floating in the water. I didn't see it until it was on top of me :(.
TheMathMajor 26
I once got stung by one and there must have been a whole group of them there where I was standing because, as soon as I started running back to the shore, two more got me. Not fun.
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Jellyfish, along with hornets, are the most evil beings to live on the planet.
skate4shekla 0
You seem to have forgotten spiders.
flashback.miss 28
/shudder. But to add on to the urine, try scaping the stung area with something like a credit card. get well soon :) Hopefully you didnt get stung anywhere especially sensitive. Lets see if you father is so calm if one stings him :/ werent there signs warning people of jellyfish, though? O.o